Year One, Week Forty-Seven: Finding Balance

This past week was better than the last, but still quite stressful.

Trying to juggle three people struggling with three different stresses while all in the same house isn't easy. Throw in an eating plan, and things get more than a bit crazy.

It's not easy finding balance in chaos.

Image by Manfred Richter from Pixabay 

My daughter was told she was both accepted, then rejected by the same college, so we're still trying to sort that out.

My husband and I tried to sell my plants at a small, local farmers' market this weekend but only sold two plants because there was a fair going on down the road that garnered most of the paying patrons that usually peruse the market.

No job prospects for my husband last week, and I didn't find much available on the job sites this past week. It's hard to sleep well when stressed, and though I did okay for my eating windows, I ate too much or too long because my brain was in a fog.

But there is good news!

I got an email about a job offer over the weekend, and I did the interview yesterday. The interviewer likes me, and after a background check, they should get back to me in the next day or two about the position.

And they also suggested my husband apply because his skills would fit nicely into their company. However, he's debating with himself about it because he doesn't know how hectic this place is (triggering his brain stress disorder) versus staying home and focusing on baking and prepping the store for the bakery build.

Whether they take him or not, I think I got the job! I'll keep you posted.

Now, if/when I get this job, my IFing will have to change because I probably won't eat at work, simply because most of what I like to eat is freshly cooked. I know that sounds snobbish, but it's true- cold or microwaved scrambled eggs with veggies, meats, and cheese doesn't taste the same as fresh and hot from the stovetop. 

I could occasionally take a chicken cobb salad or meat salad (chicken, shrimp, or tuna). Still, I think on the whole, I might just make an early breakfast as my OMAD and maybe a small snack of something meaty like cold roasted chicken if I have protein pangs. 

Working is definitely going to keep me from bingeing!

The job is 9-5 with no weekends (Saturdays maybe twice a year), and I'll be sitting for most of it (sewing machine operator), so I'll walk on my breaks and take a lot of water with me. The drive is about 1 hour and 15 minutes, and that's a long day to not eat. I wouldn't get home until 6:15 at the earliest, so I think it's best to eat in the morning before work since I'm usually up early anyway.

I'll keep you posted on that as well.

This whole month was a blur. I still can't believe next week is my weigh-in. Honestly, I looked at the scale this morning, and it doesn't look good. But I'm still hopeful.

I'm praying this week will get better!

Year One, Week Forty-Six: Working Through the Maze

This was a bad week.

I used to be a negative person, but after a lot of work, mentally and physically, my mindset for the past few years has changed to a more positive one.

This week didn't break me, but I'm starting to feel more than a bit cracked.

And, of course, this affected my IF because I'm an emotional eater.

We had hoped that the bakery would be up and running by now. However, the rules keep changing, and we discover new regulations that we have yet to meet. When we think we're ready to apply for financing, there's another hurdle to jump. 

Since the new year, we've been looking for jobs to tide us over, hoping to save enough to get all the certifications, licensing, and equipment to start a cottage-industry bakery.

Looking for work has been a mixed bag of disappointment. 

My husband was diagnosed with brain stress disorder right before we moved here in October 2021. However, after several health issues working in manufacturing jobs up here, the docs have banned him from doing any manufacturing or warehouse work. Covid, walking pneumonia, and vertigo have plagued him at three different jobs so far, and most jobs up here are warehouse or manufacturer oriented.

I never realized I was 'old' until I started applying for work. I've done many odd jobs through the years, but being an at-home mom doesn't count much in the business world. Most jobs up here are for a younger and more fit body than mine, so there aren't a lot of opportunities. I've tried selling handcrafted items online, but people aren't buying in this economy, and I don't have the money or skills to market things online well enough to get noticed.

Then my daughter got the bad news that she won't get into the college she wanted and had to raise her GPA at a community college before reapplying. She was transferring from a college that treated her like crap because she didn't own a horse and wasn't prestigious enough to 'earn' therapeutic horse-training classes, despite working at an actual horse therapy ranch for almost six years. 

I hope now you understand why I ate like a pig this week.

No, I shouldn't have. It was hot and miserable, so walking was out of the question. I was frustrated, bored, felt trapped in the house, and ready to break down into tears at random moments. So I ate.

I know God is with me, and He loves me. I know some of you are sympathetic, but I also know some are looking down your noses at me for being so weak.

That's fine, but please keep your harsh words to yourself. 

I'm not interested in hearing how to fix it, how to get over it, or how I need to pray more. You don't need to judge me because I'm doing enough of that on my own.

However, I absolutely accept all hugs with open arms.

Two steps forward, five steps back. I'm just working my way through the maze.

Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay 

From the beginning, I promised to be honest with you, and lately, I've avoided telling you everything because it's been negative, and I want to encourage people, not deter them from getting healthy. But sometimes, the circumstances merit a little misery, so others stop thinking it's all rainbows and unicorn poop.

Sometimes life sucks.

I know I'll get through this eventually, and I've already made eating adjustments, so I don't blow my IFing out of the water like I did last week. It won't be easy, but who said it ever would be?

Starting a business is hard enough. Unfortunately, starting a food business is even more challenging. Throw in the economy, financial hardship, and red tape with a sprinkle of college disappointments, and it makes for a bitter-tasting stew.

I know we must be doing something right if the devil is putting on cleats before trying to stomp us in the dirt. We just have to find the right way, which takes more time and patience than I possess.

Please send hugs and prayers. That's all I need. Thank you for listening- I love you all so much!

Year One, Week Forty-Five: I Did It Again

The week went well, but the weekend! Why do weekends torment me so much?

Well, we had friends over, for one. But that's no excuse for eating like I did. And I realize now that this seems to be a pattern with me. Get near a goal or have a great few months, then BAM- binge attack!

Why, oh why do I keep doing this to myself?

I wasn't quite in a food coma this weekend, but it was close. I still feel bloated and tired.

Image by Isa KARAKUS from Pixabay 

I guess this is why food addicts like myself must always stay in check. Let me off the leash, and I eat all the garbage. Bad human! Bad!

Am I going to hate myself for this foul-up? Nope. But it's okay to get a little mad, as long as the anger brings about positive change.

The last time I binged was a while ago, and the binges seem less frequent. I'm also not eating myself into a stupor when I do binge. I probably wouldn't feel as bad as I do today if I hadn't eaten any bread- but I did, and so I do. I knew better, but I still did it. There was also a ton of our homemade pasta salad leftover from two events we attended, and my husband wanted everyone to eat the rest because there were a lot of leftovers. I added meat into the mix, but it was still a lot of pasta.

And the bread and pasta were delicious. 

I refuse to beat myself up over it. It's eaten, and the weekend is over. Now to move forward.

Since we live in the boonies, it's hard to go grocery shopping, and I'm out of lettuce. Since it's mid-summer, there's a good chance the farmers don't have much lettuce (it's a colder weather crop), but I'm putting a shout-out to find some. I need a few salads this week that don't involve pasta.

We did find some cool purple sweet peppers I can't wait to try, so maybe I'll make some kind of meat salad like ham or chicken to put inside the peppers for a chilled lunch. So yummy!

I stepped on the scale this morning and wasn't happy with the numbers, but I knew that would happen. So why did I do it? To motivate me to stay away from bread and pasta for as long as possible. Knowing that it bloats me and makes me gain weight is a good deterrent, though I'll be honest- if I'm craving it, I won't deny myself. But I'll wait until I'm truly craving it before I eat any.

As for exercise, I haven't done much because of the heat. Unfortunately, humidity isn't my friend, and I melt when the weather is what I call 'ogres-armpit' humid. We have one air conditioner downstairs, and it's in my sewing/writing space, so that's where I plant myself when the weather turns volcanic.

And we've been test-baking, so the kitchen radiates heat like a...well, like an oven. I can't wait until we get this store cleaned out and start baking there instead.

I promise I won't test the baking. I'll leave that up to my husband and daughter!

Year One, Week Forty-Four: Slow and Steady Wins the Weigh-In (And a Life Hack!)

It's time!

This week was awesome! It was also bloody hot, so going outside wasn't in the cards. But staying in and getting stuff done was!

I also learned something new while enjoying the AC.

Did you know there's an incredible life hack involving constipation? Constipation is a problem when you're IFing, and I've had an issue with it before I even started my IF journey, so I decided to watch this video and give it a try:

Ear Pressure Point to Poo and Ease Cramps

It actually works! I did this all week, and the pipes were no longer clogged. WOOHOO! After doing this two days in a row, I had to stop because things were going a little too well, if you get my meaning. Every other day works perfectly for me.

Since it was so hot, I kept a slow and steady pace while doing chores, and it paid off. Team Tortoise!

Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay 

The week itself had good eating windows, but this weekend was heavier on the food intake than usual, so I decided to wait a day (and do a little ear acupressure) before weighing in this week. 

Let's take a look at the numbers:

                4 weeks ago:           Now:                       Difference:       

Weight           294                  291                         -3 lb.

Bicep           19-3/4"            19-1/2"                      -1/4"

Chest             56"                56-1/4"                     +1/4"

Waist           51-1/2"               52"                         +1/2"

Thigh              29"                  28"                           -1"

Neck               17"                  17"                         same

Hips                60"               59-1/2"                       -1/2"

Not too shabby! More blue than red and a three-pound loss. I'm a happy camper! Since this was a short weigh-in month (3 weeks), It looks like I'm back on track- and the best part- next month, I might be in the 280s!

Headed towards my next weight goal- 278 lbs. Isn't that exciting?

Who knows? When I get down to 265, I might take some extra pics of me in the wedding dress I wore 25 years ago to celebrate!

Year One, Week Forty-Three: Here a Tweak, There a Tweak

So much going on this week that my head is spinning!

Lots of stress. Lots of opportunities to binge and make myself miserable. 

It wasn't easy, but I persevered. Of course, it helped that I did a lot of tweaking. 

Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay 

A lot of tweaking.

The hungries hit hard this week. I added a lot of veggies to my meals and not much rice or potatoes, so maybe that's why. Veggies don't fill me up, but meat does. From my perspective, I'm feeding hundreds of vegans and vegetarians each year by eating the animals that eat their plants! I'm a meatatarian and proud of it.

Seriously though, I don't have an issue with vegans or vegetarians. I tried doing it and found my body had to have meat to remain healthy- and sane. So we can agree to disagree here, folks. I love you no matter what you eat.

Sometimes I ate twice a day because my body said so- not just hunger pangs (those I can drown easily), but the kind of hunger that makes you feel off, like what I'd eaten wasn't what my body wanted, nutritionally. So then I'd sit there for a minute and listen for what my body craved. Sometimes it was protein, sometimes it was veggies or fruit. 

Last night I was craving potatoes. Oh man, did they taste good! After eating them, the hungries settled for the night and left me alone this morning.

And I'm still losing weight. Not a ton, but the scale continues to show lower numbers.

I'm in it for the long run- like, forever. Wow- nine more weeks, and it will be two years since I started!

If you think about it, it took me twenty-five years to get this big. Longer, actually, since I was a svelte two-sixty-five when we married. The last time I was under two hundred was in my late teens- almost thirty-five years ago. Using my current weight, an average weight loss of thirty-five pounds a year beats the stuffing out of my weight gained!

I still have another one hundred and forty pounds to go, so if my average stays that way, I should reach my goal weight in four to five years. After that, I will be my thinnest at nearly sixty- how crazy if that?

So I'll keep tweaking, listening, and eating when my body demands it. Looking forward to weigh-in week next week!

Year One, Week Forty-Two: Bread and Water (and pickles too!)

This week was so much better than last week.

Oddly enough, the title isn't about prison food from the movies. I cut down on bread, drank a lot of water, and found something in the pantry that I forgot I bought- mini dill pickles.

Image by Henryk Niestrój from Pixabay 

I haven't had pickles in so long- so on my 'bread' day, I had a sandwich with a homemade buttery roll and a side of mini dill pickles. Totally yum! I eat bread twice a week, which seems to work well now.

My husband made a flourless chicken and shrimp risotto, with plenty left over for the next few days. Then I raided the freezer, found a few single-serving homemade soups, and ate a lot of eggs with ham and a side of bacon for most of the week.

I also found a great snack- freshly popped cheddar and sour cream popcorn. I found this treasure trove of powders to sprinkle on popcorn or chips at an Amish store and got a few samples. We pop the popcorn, and while it's hot, sprinkle the powder as we toss the popcorn to coat it evenly. I don't eat it a lot, but it makes for a nice snack when the family sits for a movie.

One of the reasons I wasn't feeling so great last week is I was severely dehydrated. So this week, I had a lot more water, and the salt from those pickles also helped. I know that sounds weird, but salt never affected me. I have low/normal blood pressure (which shocks the doctors to no end), and because most of my meals don't have extra salt (my husband has high BP), I can indulge occasionally.

I also have been breaking my meals in half, so I have two smaller meals within the hourly eating window instead of one bigger one. This allows me to have a variety of foods and keeps me from getting bored. Yes, I love having eggs every day, but I also like having soups, sandwiches, popcorn, and savory leftovers my family had the night before.

This is the season of fresh produce from the local farms. Yesterday I had corn freshly picked that morning!

Intermittent Fasting doesn't mean depriving yourself. There are a ton of foods out there to savor and enjoy. God made it taste good for a reason! Eventually, your body will reset, and you'll be surprised at how your tastes will change.

For me, it was soda and, more recently, my go-to comfort food, buttered bread.

About six months in, soda started tasting like acid to me. I wasn't a big soda drinker anyway, but I drank it whenever we went out somewhere to eat. Now I ask for tea or water because that soda stuff just tastes nasty. The only soda I found palatable was a brand up here in the mountains called Kutztown. Not a lot of junk in it, and naturally flavored. I still don't have it often, but it's delicious when I crave something fizzy.

Most of the time, when I eat, I drink homemade green tea with raspberry and pomegranate. There isn't much sugar in it, but it is the best-tasting tea I've ever made, and it's a staple in our house.

The most recent shocker was buttered bread. I wanted something the other day, and we were baking rolls, so I decided to have one fresh out of the oven with butter slathered all over it. It smelled incredible, but it was bland when I took a bite. Thinking I'd used unsalted butter, I asked him if he had changed the butter dish or done something different to the bread. Nope. It was just me.

I was so disappointed. I loved buttered bread!

Yet I had a sandwich a few days later with that same bread, which was fantastic. So it's just me.

I guess I'll make green tea and popcorn my go-to snack now! Gosh, golly-gee darn...how will I ever survive? 😁

Year One, Week Forty-One: Rough Week Weigh-In

The Creation Festival was fantastic!

It was also exhausting.

Image by Екатерина Гусева from Pixabay 

I worked the face-painting booth and sat in one position for hours in 90-degree heat. I used to do this professionally, so once I was in my zone, the world around me disappeared, and it was just me and the child I was painting (and one adult who wanted shark teeth on his thumb and index fingers so he could 'bite' family members!)

My eating windows were all over the place. Sometimes I ate before the event, and one time I forgot to eat until I got home around dinnertime. I definitely overate, and sometimes they'd offer ice pops while we were working to help cool us off, so my fasting period wasn't as long as it usually was.

I'm glad I did it, but I'm also happy it's over.

Let's take a look at those numbers, shall we?

        4 weeks ago:                    Now:                       Difference:       

Weight           295                  294                         -1 lb.

Bicep              20"               19-3/4"                      -1/2"

Chest             55"                   56"                         +1"

Waist           51-3/4"            51-1/2"                      -1/2"

Thigh           28-1/2"               29"                         +1/2"

Neck               17"                  17"                         same

Hips             59-1/4"               60"                        +3/4"

Looks like I have a few more mountains to climb. A one-pound loss isn't much, but it's still a loss- I'm headed in the right direction!

I need to find new exercise methods because being in that wonky position during face painting messed up the tendon on the side of my knee. I hurt it before, so I know staying off of it and keeping my legs straight will allow it to heal, but for the moment, my walking is limited.

I weighed and measured myself yesterday morning, but since it was a holiday, I decided to forgo the windows and satisfy a few cravings. So, after the parade and enjoying the entertainment at the local fair, I watched a movie with my family while snacking on a huge bowl of homemade sour cream and cheddar popcorn (the flavoring was a powder made for popcorn.) 

It was so worth it!

So this week's agenda is resting, sewing, and planning satisfying meals. I've been craving baked potatoes lately. I love me a hot baked potato!

The past week was rough but not as difficult as I thought. I managed to stay away from bread and pasta and got a lot of protein. I will say one thing, though- I'm getting tired of ham and eggs! I had them a lot this week (because they're easy and quick to make), and though I love them, I've had my fill for now.

My next weigh-in is in three weeks because I forgot to take my numbers last week. In a few more weeks, I'll be Intermittent Fasting for two years- Wow!

Looking forward to a new week filled with promise- and baked potatoes!

Year One, Week Forty: Expect the Unexpected

Oops!

    I made a blunder. We have an event this week, and I was prepping all last week for it. I started volunteering yesterday, and not only did I forget to post this blog, but I also forgot to weigh myself- yesterday and today!

    Sorry to disappoint, but I'll do my weigh-in and measurements next week instead of this week, and I'll be back on track in four weeks.

    So, what is this event, you might ask? It's called Creation. It's a huge Christian music festival that my husband and I volunteer for until Saturday. My husband is camping overnight because his shift is late in the evening, but I've decided to commute instead of camp since my shift is in the afternoon, and we're about a thirty-five-minute drive away. 

    I had an opportunity to sell my handmade denim bags at the festival to help get the funds we needed to start our bakery. So last week was spent sewing my butt off. This week I volunteered for face painting, which is starting tomorrow. I don't have my schedule yet, so who knows what my eating windows will look like.

    They allowed me to set up my selling spot yesterday, so I didn't have time to blog. When I started to write my post this morning, I noticed that this week was also supposed to be a weigh-in week.

    Oh, the irony of this blog post title!

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 

    Forgetting my weigh-in wasn't the purpose of this post; what to do when you have no idea how to adjust your eating window was!

    Now that you have the backstory let's get to the original idea for this post.

    Because I've no idea about my volunteer schedule, the two biggest challenges this week are when I'll be eating and what I'll be eating. 

    I'll probably be scheduled right around the time I usually eat. The volunteer time blocks are four hours, and I'll drive to the venue instead of camping. With driving to and from, setup, and actual painting faces, that's almost a six-hour window where I'm not going to be eating. 

    Eat too early, and I'll be tempted to eat the Festival food. Too late, and I'll not only be tempted to eat the Festival food, but after I get home (if I resist), I'll be overly hungry and overeat.

    So there are choices to be made: 

1. Eat early the first day and see what happens. 

2. Take food with me that's okay to at from a cooler (though finger food and painting faces don't mix- and that's if I get a break, which might not happen.)

3. Take a gallon of water with me and drown my hunger until I get home, then cook something. 

4. Prep food before going to grab and eat the second I get home, so I don't waste time cooking, and take a gallon of water to drown my hunger during volunteering.

    The second choice is the worst among the lot. The rest involve me controlling myself around those good smells of the Festival food vendors. Of course, I could just forget eating windows this week, but my weigh-in is already overdue, and overindulgence isn't an option.

    Unfortunately, self-control isn't my strongest virtue. Sigh.

    Hopefully, I'll get my schedule today to plan things out better. Until then, I'll do a little menu planning so there's food in the fridge for my daughter and I when we get home (she is working this week and couldn't volunteer.)

    Fast, Feast, Tweak!

Year One, Week Thirty-Nine: Conquering Mountains

(Yes, this is an actual photo of our backyard mountain!)

I did something last week that wasn't possible before I started IFing. I climbed a mountain.

The best part? I videoed the trek. 

(Sorry, the link opens a new window because the file won't load here.)

I climbed a mountain

It's the mountain behind our house. It's a 400 ft. elevation at a 10% grade and one-and-a-half miles round trip total. The entire journey took about an hour and a half.

At the beginning of my IF journey, I was considering a wheelchair. And now, though I'm not moving mountains, I am climbing them. 

To be completely frank, I thought this impossible. My husband and daughter thought I couldn't and shouldn't try because neither of them thought I was ready. And ever since we moved here, I agreed with them.

But, after reading a ton of business books so we can start our bakery, my mind has begun rewiring itself for success. And every time I sat outside to watch the wildlife, my eyes kept returning to that mountain in my backyard. 

I can do that, I thought to myself. It might take me hours, but I can do that. I needed to stop listening to others telling me what I could and could not accomplish- including myself.

So last week, I told my husband I would make an attempt.

It was initially an attempt. I'd no idea how far it was, but I know my husband went up there regularly and was back in less than an hour, so it was far enough to be a severe challenge for me, but not so far that I couldn't complete it if given enough time. I was hoping there were enough downed trees to sit on so I could rest once in a while.

This wasn't a race. I was going at my own pace and seeing how far I could go. 

My husband decided he was going with me.

At first, I didn't want him along. This was my journey, my accomplishment, and my challenge. I didn't want him to discourage me, encourage me, or see my failure and disappointment if I didn't make it.

But we are here in the boonies, and some critters would see me as a delicious snack. So my husband accompanied me because it was just plain smart.

I'm glad he was with me. We encountered some muddy patches that needed a little helping hand to get over, but I have to give him credit- he let me go at my pace and didn't say anything about the trek unless I asked him. 

We made it up, over, and down to the house in about an hour-and-a-half. 

The time surprised me. I thought it would take hours. I thought I'd be near death when we got to the back door. I thought a lot of things that are no longer true. 

I did what I thought was impossible. Now it's not only possible, but I didn't die, my legs didn't fall off, and we weren't eaten by a bear. Good times, folks, good times. And now I know to challenge anything I think is impossible.

Like starting a bakery. Or losing weight.

Maybe you're starting your IF eating plan and think you'll never get down to one-hour windows or eating One Meal A Day (OMAD.) Perhaps you're somewhere in the middle, wondering if you're ever going to figure this out. Trust me- you'll get it if you stick with it and tweak your IF journey because it's your journey and no one else. 

Stop listening to the diet planners, the hype, and your Auntie Janice, and start listening to your body instead. And then, keep listening and tweaking; your impossible mountain will be a molehill- at your pace!

Year One, Week Thirty-Eight: Summer Surprises!

It's time to break out the summer wardrobe!

Image by Engin Akyurt from Pixabay 

Okay, my wardrobe stays the same throughout the year now that I stopped wearing sweat pants, but I have a shorts drawer in my dresser. Whatever can fit neatly in the drawer, that's what stays. A lot less storage that way.

Before we moved here in October, I knew many of the shorts I had were going to be too big this summer, so I donated most of them, save for a few that were a bit snug. (Positive thinking!) Most of them had ties at the waist that I double-knotted- really convenient for seeing just how far I've come.

But I wasn't expecting this!

These shorts were snug on me last year. Now I have to cinch them tighter because they're baggy.

That's a lot of space betwixt waist and waistband!

The shorts I wear for the weight loss photos are just worn for comparison pictures, so don't think I wear shorts all year long- far from it. 

As for the eating windows, I did well until this weekend, when I helped out at a men's camping conference. My daughter and I were helping get guys registered, freeing up the leaders so they could enjoy and work at the camping area. Unfortunately, since we weren't allowed on the grounds, they brought food out to us, so there wasn't much I could do with what I ate. 

I was back on track yesterday, and I'm planning on a few more salads and veggies this week. I feel a bit bloated and hungry (because I ate throughout the day for three days), but that was expected. A high-protein meal and some hearty greens will do the trick!

Two more weeks until my next weigh-in. I'm looking forward to it!

Year One, Week Thirty-Seven: Figures and Facts

Testing yourself is the best way to figure out what it will take to lose weight during Intermittent Fasting. Yes, you can also take medical tests, but beyond food allergies, the docs really can't tell if your body likes a particular food or fasting window.

So we have to be our own super sleuths.

Image by Markus Winkler from Pixabay 

In my case, bread seems to be my kryptonite. Years ago, I was doing Atkins and found I responded well to a lower-carb diet. I have yet to test pasta, but I should be doing that within the next week. 

I want to test for flour in general, so I'll also be trying out products with corn flour, like tortilla chips, in the next few weeks. It's gotten to the point now that I try one of my possible problem foods after two days of low-carbing. The scale reveals all.

As for rice, potatoes, and other starchy veggies, I don't seem to have an issue. I love potatoes, so I'm glad it's not on my kryptonite list. Believe it or not, potato chips don't affect the scale for me! 

It would if I ate a whole bag, of course, but I've nipped that particular habit in the bud.

After two days of low-carb eating in one-hour windows, I've learned to test one potential problem food at a time on my testing day to prevent confusion. Now that I've narrowed it down, it's easier to judge which foods my body wants and which ones to avoid. This kind of fasting also gives me my 'sometimes' foods, which are okay for me under certain circumstances.

There's a lot of investigation involved. But the effort is worth it.

I know what to order when we go out without asking for substitutions. I can prep for an event and not feel deprived or miserable because of bad choices eaten on a whim. And if something impromptu comes up, I know how to adjust my eating for the next few days if I do slip up.

No guilt. No shame. Total accountability. And the results are almost a seventy-pound weight loss so far.

The road to food freedom is littered with potholes and hazards. You will mess up. You will get discouraged. But if you keep investigating and testing out your food-consuming theories, in time, you'll realize what you need to do to succeed. And readjusting your eating windows and menus will get a lot easier. 

Trust me.

Your facts and figures will probably differ from mine. Everyone is different. Maybe you can eat bread but can't eat sugar. Whatever it is, you'll figure it out and make fantastic breakthroughs!

Year One, Week Thirty-Six: Setting A New Pace Weigh-In

This week was very enlightening. I really listened to what my body said each morning, and I decided what I would eat or not eat that day to see if my body reacted the way I wanted. 

It shouldn't have been a surprise, but I've finally figured out what my next pace in this dietary marathon is!

Photo by RUN 4 FFWPU

I need to do an Atkins keto-ish eating at least three to four times a week. When I do, the swelling goes down, and the weight comes off.

Basically, I just skip the bread, and I'm good to go!

So, why don't I just skip eating bread altogether? Because I was losing too fast. I want to keep it around two pounds a week, and I'd dropped almost four pounds in just a few days this last week. I don't want to crash my metabolism, so I'm being careful.

Besides, how can I give up bread when I'm a baker, for heavens' sake?

I'm sure I'll eventually have to give it up, but for now, here are the numbers:

                  4 weeks ago:                    Now:                       Difference:       

Weight           298                           295                         -3 lbs.

Bicep           19-1/2"                        20"                         +1/2"

Chest           56-1/4"                        55"                        -1-1/4"

Waist               52"                       51-1/4"                      -3/4"

Thigh           28-1/2"                     28-1/2"                     same

Neck               17"                           17"                         same

Hips                60"                         59-1/4"                     -3/4"

Still a lot of blue for a three-pound loss. I think a lot of the weight this past month was water loss. 

I can't tell you what a relief it was to see the numbers going down again! One of the best parts is when I do the high-protein and veggie days, I feel more satisfied, and the hungries almost disappear. The energy is coming back, and my stamina is slowly getting better.

Last week I truly felt like giving up. The scale last Monday read a whopping 302, and I thought my body would never let the weight go. But, on the other hand, I knew IFing was good for me- it was the longest I'd ever lasted doing any weight loss regimen, and I really had to sit down with my brain and rethink things. 

I was millimeters away from quitting, folks. Seriously.

But I also knew that the frustrations would be temporary because I was going through some stress that made me eat more not-so-great stuff. Emotional eating is a tough habit to break, but slowly, I'm chipping away at it. So I pulled up those big-girl undies and decided to try once more, think about what I was eating, and realized I'd had a lot of bread during the last few months.

I nixed the bread, took a walk or two, and now look at the results.

Technically I lost seven pounds this week, but since I only report my numbers once every four weeks, the difference is a three-pound loss. I'm okay with that!

Don't despair that the weight will never come off. It will. Just think about what you've been eating and your moods, and make adjustments.

And keep moving forward!

Year One, Week Thirty-Five: Sprint vs. Marathon

I stepped on the scale this morning and wasn't happy.

The numbers weren't ideal. In fact, they were downright disappointing. I sighed heavily, sat on my bed, and wondered if I just wasn't cut out to be thin. I couldn't get past a particular spot, and I truly felt like giving up.

That's the fear talking.

Fear of plateauing again for another 6-8 months. Fear that I'll always be fat. Fear that I'll never have enough self-control to maintain a decent weight, even if I did break this plateau. 

The harder I try, the harder it is to stick to my guns and push through. 

Photo by RUN 4 FFWPU

Last week I was sick. Now I'm just tired. I know this sounds like I'm giving up, but I'm not. No one likes to be held to the consequences of their actions, and my body is letting me know I haven't done what I'd promised I'd do. And dealing with your body is like dealing with a computer; you can't argue your way to weight loss, just like you can't yell at a computer to make it work properly.

I'm eating my own words, and they taste incredibly bitter. There's no one else to blame but me.

However, no one else can fix it but me either.

I have to keep reminding myself that this isn't a sprint- it's a marathon. It wouldn't be a smooth downward slope if my IF journey were charted. It would look more like the stock market!

Weight fluctuates, especially after a binge. I haven't been doing the low-carb days like I should, and I certainly haven't eased up on some of the snacks I should be avoiding. And because I wasn't feeling well, I barely walked. So is it any wonder why the numbers aren't favorable?

Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break when you screw up, put on the big-girl panties, and move forward. So that's what I'm doing after I've had a good cry- because it's still incredibly frustrating to be me right now- and that's okay, as long as I don't dwell in the frustration.

It really is all about mindset, folks. Part of me is still in sprint mode (fast weight loss, aka dieting) and is ready to be done with IFing. I've been sprinting in a marathon, and I'm burning myself out before I'm halfway finished the race- no wonder I'm tired!

What helps the most is keeping myself accountable via this blog and the support I get from my online IFers. If I didn't have those to lean on, I'd have never gotten this far. 

If you find yourself sprinting during your marathon, take heart- you can always set a new pace and catch your breath!

Year One, Week Thirty-Four: Binge Weekend

Well, It finally happened. The hungries hit right when I had an opportunity to eat- for an entire weekend. My husband and I volunteered to help at a farm/campground with his men's ministry, and the guys would provide the food.

There were no windows. There were no boundaries. I fully intended to only eat when there was something I don't typically have, but almost everything there was something I hadn't had for a long time. So I ate. And ate. And ate some more.

Photo by Tim Samuel

I ate way past being full. I fed the machine until the machine could barely function. And then I ate some more. By the end of the weekend, the hungries were finally sated, and I was feeling like a beached whale.

But the fun doesn't stop there. That night, I was feeling not-so-hot. At two in the morning, I was singing praises to the commode. Yep, you guessed it- I had a slight case of food poisoning. The consequences of overeating weren't lost on me as I sat in misery yesterday with a 100.5 fever. It's not fun when your body decides to clean house within a few hours.

I wanted nothing to do with food again. Ever. Even the smell of it made me feel ill. 

The only thing I did was sip water for most of the day until I realized the headache I was developing was due to not eating. I had a little green tea which helped, but around 4 p.m. I asked my husband to make me some of his homemade chicken rice soup. That was the only food that didn't make me gag when I thought about it.

Despite my vow to never eat again, I started feeling a little better after having the soup. Unfortunately, I'd also slept on and off most of the day, which is why this post is a day late. Not that my fevered brain would've been able to concoct a post in the first place. So I read when I could and napped when my body wanted, often right in the middle of a chapter. Even after all those naps, I still slept like a log the entire night.

If this is what a binge hangover is like, you can have it!

Today, I feel much better, though still a little wobbly. I think this experience will help me cut down on my daily food intake as I'd planned last week. The funny part is, I was eating less during the week before this debacle happened! 

I refused to weigh myself the entire weekend, but I was curious and stepped on the scale this morning. I hadn't lost anything (which was no surprise), but I didn't gain any weight either (which was a total surprise.) So I think God gave me a chance at a do-over- a chance I'm not squandering!

Mischief managed, lessons learned. I'm back to my one-hour eating window today, and food is still not overly appealing at the moment, but I know whatever I decide to eat will be eaten slowly and savored. In the meantime, I'm sipping water and keeping myself busy. 

In the end, the binge wasn't worth it. Next time I'm taking Tupperware!

Year One, Week Thirty-Three: The Hungries Out of Hibernation

Spring has sprung,

the grass has risen,

My stomach is won'dring

Why the food is missin'!

Ah, Springtime. Time for warmer weather, the smell of growing things, and animals waking from hibernation. But it isn't just the bears rising from slumber. My stomach has decided it's a bear that hasn't eaten all winter and wants sustenance. Now.

Hey! Where's the pizza?

I hear it complaining earlier and earlier each day. To be honest, I have no idea why, since I've been feeding it well when my window opens! The only reason could be the spring weather.

Yesterday was Mother's Day, and since things are a bit tight, I opted for us to get Chinese takeout and watch a movie when we got home from church. Chinese isn't a very meat-heavy meal, but I enjoyed every grain of rice and every lo mein noodle that came with it. So satisfying. 

For the first few hours. Then I started feeling empty again. 

I digest like it was a sport. My body is so used to a big meal once a day that it digests as fast as possible, hoping I'll give it more. And when I refuse, it gnaws on my backbone and growls like an annoyed Momma Bear. 

But I know that growl is saying more than 'FEED ME!' It's also saying, 'Now I have to go into the reserves to get a snack, you heinous wench.' And that means I'm about to burn off some serious energy stores. Yay!

Spring also means I can be outside for a bit without my knees complaining. I went for a few short walks, and as long as I stopped for short periods, my joints were satisfied with my slow progress around my property. Of course, the fresh spring air didn't hurt either.

I have to admit, sometimes I let the hungries get to me when I should be ignoring them. I don't feed them, but I get annoyed and try to drown them, even though I feel waterlogged already. To be even more honest, I'm still sitting too much, and though I have a lot to do mentally and physically, I get tired of doing the same stuff, and I get bored. 

Boredom makes the hungries more noticeable and much harder to ignore. 

Scheduling activities that strengthen my mind and body should help. For example, using a timer to break jobs into smaller bits so I'm not sitting for more than an hour. Exercises within my mobility levels so I can strengthen my stamina. I keep telling myself I'll do these things, but for some weird reason, I don't. But not this week!

It's like the beginning of my IF journey but with activity this round. Again, consistency but flexibility should allow me the freedom to not get bored. Or at least when I do, switch gears before I hear my stomach growling.

The only thing I'm consistent in is my inconsistency! So this week, I can use that to my advantage by shaking up my work schedule- but not to the point of being anal about it. If I must finish something, I complete it before moving on or working until I can pause without losing momentum. The alarms won't manage me; I'll manage them- Just like the hungries!

One, Week Thirty-Two: Breaking Records Weigh-In...With Pics!

Wow-what a month!

The struggle is real, folks. Over the last two months, my weight loss has slowed again, and to be honest, this week was especially troublesome. I'd sabotaged myself the previous week, and after making my post last week, I fell really hard in my yard. 

Arthritic knees don't like it when you fall on them. I couldn't even get up on my own. Luckily for me, the young man next door saw me fall, and my son (who was visiting us) ran out to help me to my feet, just as I cried out for help. 

They'd lifted me easier than I thought they would, and to be honest, I was pretty impressed. The only time since my honeymoon I'd ever felt all Princessy and stuff. I limped into the house, feeling a lot less Princessy as my legs and arms decided to chime in.

I was one big ache for the next few days. Walking was out of the question. My arms were sore, and I couldn't lift them above my head. We were out of the stuff to make salads, and since my husband and daughter were out working, I kept forgetting to ask them to go shopping. Ah well.

I made some protein-hearty meals, cut down on the bread, and used smaller dishes. Fiber was also in the cards and helped move things along better.

Now it's Monday, and I had to step on the scale. I'm not gonna lie- I was really wondering if the numbers were going to remain in the three-hundreds. So I stepped onto the scale, saw the screen flash, and...

Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

...Goal achieved!

                  4 weeks ago:                    Now:                       Difference:       

Weight           300                           298                         -2 lbs.

Bicep           19-1/4"                      19-1/2"                    +1/4"

Chest           56-1/2"                      56-1/4"                     -1/4"

Waist           52-1/2"                        52"                         -1/2"

Thigh           28-1/2"                     28-1/2"                     same

Neck               17"                           17"                         same

Hips                61"                           60"                          -1"

Okay, so the numbers aren't great, but they still count! There's more blue than red, and I'm FINALLY under 300 for the first time in years!

Woohoo- look at those changes! My arms are drastically thinner, and my butt is more defined. Also, my second chin is disappearing, and look how wrinkled the shirt and shorts are! Definitely, some progress going on.

These pics give me hope. I'm no supermodel (nor will I ever be- or want to be), but seeing the differences since I began is encouraging.

I wish I could say the rest of the ride will be downhill, but I know better. The struggle will increase as I get thinner. I need to rethink what and how I've eaten because I've been getting away with a lot.

Choices need to be made concerning meals- do I eat two much smaller meals or one bigger one? I like variety, but when I eat two smaller meals, I often feel bloated after eating a small meal or snack nearly two hours later. Sometimes, one bigger one also leaves me bloaty, but I get the hungries more often. So maybe I could mix it up a little and see what happens.

Also, I'm considering changing my eating window from a two-hour one to a one-hour one, possibly doing OMAD several times a week. Lately, I've forgotten to eat in time (I even set a timer but was involved or unable to eat at the time) and knew I didn't eat enough and had to extend my window to eat something small. It's easier to eat in one sitting, but I need to eat more because I get ravenous by the evening.

Maybe the book should be called Fast, Feast, Tweak!

I actually like tweaking my fast. It prevents getting stuck in eating ruts and allows me to be more flexible when needed. But unfortunately, the past two months have shown that what I've been doing needs to be taken down a peg or two to keep losing weight.

Tweaking windows, tweaking portions, and tweaking how I'm eating is crucial to getting to my next goal. Also essential is what I'm eating. 

Like I said, I've been able to get away with a lot during this first leg of this marathon, but now I have to hunker down for the second leg. Snacks are the first thing to tweak, not just in volume but in frequency. Meals need to be enough if it's an OMAD or in much smaller dishes if I want a variety that day. To start, I'm not going to plan which days- I'll just let them happen as they may, then see what kinds of patterns emerge.

I hope sharing the up and downs of my journey helps you in yours. I promise not to sugar-coat anything (though my twisted sense of humor might soften the blow) and tell you everything about how I feel and what I think. You aren't alone in this, and your feelings are valid! 

I hope this blog inspires you to be a healthier person, inside and out!