I'm Fighting Fat is about my journey weight loss! Come join me!

I'm fat. And I've been fat for far too long. It's time to start making changes, and this blog is to document those changes, along with a few tears, and even some laughs along the way.

This blog isn't about is going on a fad diet - in fact no 'diet' foods or pills are going to be used during this entire process! Any use of the word 'diet' in this blog will simply refer to foods being eaten, not any special plan or 'can or can't have' food lists.

I'll be eating a variety of foods, as unprocessed as possible. The plan is not to cut out or severely cut down, but to help my body (and mind) realize when I truly am hungry, and not depend on the clock to tell me when mealtimes are. Moderation will be the rule in both eating and exercising.

Join me on my journey, my trials, my failures and successes to discover a thinner me and possibly inspire you to lose weight too, without all the diet hype!

Tuesday, May 17, 2022

Year One, Week Thirty-Four: Binge Weekend

Well, It finally happened. The hungries hit right when I had an opportunity to eat- for an entire weekend. My husband and I volunteered to help at a farm/campground with his men's ministry, and the guys would provide the food.

There were no windows. There were no boundaries. I fully intended to only eat when there was something I don't typically have, but almost everything there was something I hadn't had for a long time. So I ate. And ate. And ate some more.

Photo by Tim Samuel

I ate way past being full. I fed the machine until the machine could barely function. And then I ate some more. By the end of the weekend, the hungries were finally sated, and I was feeling like a beached whale.

But the fun doesn't stop there. That night, I was feeling not-so-hot. At two in the morning, I was singing praises to the commode. Yep, you guessed it- I had a slight case of food poisoning. The consequences of overeating weren't lost on me as I sat in misery yesterday with a 100.5 fever. It's not fun when your body decides to clean house within a few hours.

I wanted nothing to do with food again. Ever. Even the smell of it made me feel ill. 

The only thing I did was sip water for most of the day until I realized the headache I was developing was due to not eating. I had a little green tea which helped, but around 4 p.m. I asked my husband to make me some of his homemade chicken rice soup. That was the only food that didn't make me gag when I thought about it.

Despite my vow to never eat again, I started feeling a little better after having the soup. Unfortunately, I'd also slept on and off most of the day, which is why this post is a day late. Not that my fevered brain would've been able to concoct a post in the first place. So I read when I could and napped when my body wanted, often right in the middle of a chapter. Even after all those naps, I still slept like a log the entire night.

If this is what a binge hangover is like, you can have it!

Today, I feel much better, though still a little wobbly. I think this experience will help me cut down on my daily food intake as I'd planned last week. The funny part is, I was eating less during the week before this debacle happened! 

I refused to weigh myself the entire weekend, but I was curious and stepped on the scale this morning. I hadn't lost anything (which was no surprise), but I didn't gain any weight either (which was a total surprise.) So I think God gave me a chance at a do-over- a chance I'm not squandering!

Mischief managed, lessons learned. I'm back to my one-hour eating window today, and food is still not overly appealing at the moment, but I know whatever I decide to eat will be eaten slowly and savored. In the meantime, I'm sipping water and keeping myself busy. 

In the end, the binge wasn't worth it. Next time I'm taking Tupperware!

Monday, May 9, 2022

Year One, Week Thirty-Three: The Hungries Out of Hibernation

Spring has sprung,

the grass has risen,

My stomach is won'dring

Why the food is missin'!

Ah, Springtime. Time for warmer weather, the smell of growing things, and animals waking from hibernation. But it isn't just the bears rising from slumber. My stomach has decided it's a bear that hasn't eaten all winter and wants sustenance. Now.

Hey! Where's the pizza?

I hear it complaining earlier and earlier each day. To be honest, I have no idea why, since I've been feeding it well when my window opens! The only reason could be the spring weather.

Yesterday was Mother's Day, and since things are a bit tight, I opted for us to get Chinese takeout and watch a movie when we got home from church. Chinese isn't a very meat-heavy meal, but I enjoyed every grain of rice and every lo mein noodle that came with it. So satisfying. 

For the first few hours. Then I started feeling empty again. 

I digest like it was a sport. My body is so used to a big meal once a day that it digests as fast as possible, hoping I'll give it more. And when I refuse, it gnaws on my backbone and growls like an annoyed Momma Bear. 

But I know that growl is saying more than 'FEED ME!' It's also saying, 'Now I have to go into the reserves to get a snack, you heinous wench.' And that means I'm about to burn off some serious energy stores. Yay!

Spring also means I can be outside for a bit without my knees complaining. I went for a few short walks, and as long as I stopped for short periods, my joints were satisfied with my slow progress around my property. Of course, the fresh spring air didn't hurt either.

I have to admit, sometimes I let the hungries get to me when I should be ignoring them. I don't feed them, but I get annoyed and try to drown them, even though I feel waterlogged already. To be even more honest, I'm still sitting too much, and though I have a lot to do mentally and physically, I get tired of doing the same stuff, and I get bored. 

Boredom makes the hungries more noticeable and much harder to ignore. 

Scheduling activities that strengthen my mind and body should help. For example, using a timer to break jobs into smaller bits so I'm not sitting for more than an hour. Exercises within my mobility levels so I can strengthen my stamina. I keep telling myself I'll do these things, but for some weird reason, I don't. But not this week!

It's like the beginning of my IF journey but with activity this round. Again, consistency but flexibility should allow me the freedom to not get bored. Or at least when I do, switch gears before I hear my stomach growling.

The only thing I'm consistent in is my inconsistency! So this week, I can use that to my advantage by shaking up my work schedule- but not to the point of being anal about it. If I must finish something, I complete it before moving on or working until I can pause without losing momentum. The alarms won't manage me; I'll manage them- Just like the hungries!

Monday, May 2, 2022

One, Week Thirty-Two: Breaking Records Weigh-In...With Pics!

Wow-what a month!

The struggle is real, folks. Over the last two months, my weight loss has slowed again, and to be honest, this week was especially troublesome. I'd sabotaged myself the previous week, and after making my post last week, I fell really hard in my yard. 

Arthritic knees don't like it when you fall on them. I couldn't even get up on my own. Luckily for me, the young man next door saw me fall, and my son (who was visiting us) ran out to help me to my feet, just as I cried out for help. 

They'd lifted me easier than I thought they would, and to be honest, I was pretty impressed. The only time since my honeymoon I'd ever felt all Princessy and stuff. I limped into the house, feeling a lot less Princessy as my legs and arms decided to chime in.

I was one big ache for the next few days. Walking was out of the question. My arms were sore, and I couldn't lift them above my head. We were out of the stuff to make salads, and since my husband and daughter were out working, I kept forgetting to ask them to go shopping. Ah well.

I made some protein-hearty meals, cut down on the bread, and used smaller dishes. Fiber was also in the cards and helped move things along better.

Now it's Monday, and I had to step on the scale. I'm not gonna lie- I was really wondering if the numbers were going to remain in the three-hundreds. So I stepped onto the scale, saw the screen flash, and...

Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

...Goal achieved!

                  4 weeks ago:                    Now:                       Difference:       

Weight           300                           298                         -2 lbs.

Bicep           19-1/4"                      19-1/2"                    +1/4"

Chest           56-1/2"                      56-1/4"                     -1/4"

Waist           52-1/2"                        52"                         -1/2"

Thigh           28-1/2"                     28-1/2"                     same

Neck               17"                           17"                         same

Hips                61"                           60"                          -1"

Okay, so the numbers aren't great, but they still count! There's more blue than red, and I'm FINALLY under 300 for the first time in years!

Woohoo- look at those changes! My arms are drastically thinner, and my butt is more defined. Also, my second chin is disappearing, and look how wrinkled the shirt and shorts are! Definitely, some progress going on.

These pics give me hope. I'm no supermodel (nor will I ever be- or want to be), but seeing the differences since I began is encouraging.

I wish I could say the rest of the ride will be downhill, but I know better. The struggle will increase as I get thinner. I need to rethink what and how I've eaten because I've been getting away with a lot.

Choices need to be made concerning meals- do I eat two much smaller meals or one bigger one? I like variety, but when I eat two smaller meals, I often feel bloated after eating a small meal or snack nearly two hours later. Sometimes, one bigger one also leaves me bloaty, but I get the hungries more often. So maybe I could mix it up a little and see what happens.

Also, I'm considering changing my eating window from a two-hour one to a one-hour one, possibly doing OMAD several times a week. Lately, I've forgotten to eat in time (I even set a timer but was involved or unable to eat at the time) and knew I didn't eat enough and had to extend my window to eat something small. It's easier to eat in one sitting, but I need to eat more because I get ravenous by the evening.

Maybe the book should be called Fast, Feast, Tweak!

I actually like tweaking my fast. It prevents getting stuck in eating ruts and allows me to be more flexible when needed. But unfortunately, the past two months have shown that what I've been doing needs to be taken down a peg or two to keep losing weight.

Tweaking windows, tweaking portions, and tweaking how I'm eating is crucial to getting to my next goal. Also essential is what I'm eating. 

Like I said, I've been able to get away with a lot during this first leg of this marathon, but now I have to hunker down for the second leg. Snacks are the first thing to tweak, not just in volume but in frequency. Meals need to be enough if it's an OMAD or in much smaller dishes if I want a variety that day. To start, I'm not going to plan which days- I'll just let them happen as they may, then see what kinds of patterns emerge.

I hope sharing the up and downs of my journey helps you in yours. I promise not to sugar-coat anything (though my twisted sense of humor might soften the blow) and tell you everything about how I feel and what I think. You aren't alone in this, and your feelings are valid! 

I hope this blog inspires you to be a healthier person, inside and out!

Tuesday, April 26, 2022

Year One, Week Thirty-One: Self-Sabotage; The Enemy Within

This week was a tough one. And the weekend was a hot mess. I overate, ate beyond my two-hour window, and sat too much.

And it showed on the scale.

Why, oh why do I do this to myself, right after a breakthrough? Self-sabotage is one of my more sinister traits and one I honestly thought I'd beaten.

But nooooo, it had to rear its ugly head and bop me right between my eyes- or more accurately, my lips.

Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva from Pexels

Hindsight is always 20/20, and when I look back on the week, it was loaded with stressors I should have recognized before I opened my eating windows. Plans were thwarted all over the place, and I sometimes have a hard time readjusting. If it's one or two things going awry, I do well enough, but this week was a hot mess of changing plans, projects, and minds.

And then, this weekend, I fell pretty hard while outside. The grass isn't as soft as you think. I haven't fallen in decades, and I was reminded that it's not as easy to shake off as kids make it look! I'm fine, by the way, just a bit dented and sore.

On two occasions this week, I stuffed myself stupid. Well, not as stupid as I used to, but I ate until I was uncomfortable, just because we were doing something special with the kids. 

I also rushed my eating because we were in a hurry, so some meals weren't even savored as I ate, and I wound up overeating because I wasn't sure if I could eat within the window while we were out, and wound up eating with them when they ate anyway. 

Hunger was also a big problem this week, and I tamed it with food.

Dumb, dumb, dumb. And I knew it, even as I chewed each bite.

I'm not mad at my family or the scale- I'm mad at myself for getting out of control. 

So what am I going to do about it? You might ask. Well, I'm certainly not going to do what I used to: eat and sulk and find something distracting to watch, so I can mindlessly fill the void with food.

Nopety, nope, nope! 

I made meals this weekend that would last for most of this week, and two of them are soups. I do well with soup, but I'm cutting way down on the bread and cheeses this week. I had a lot of cheese, and though that's not bad for me, it clogs the pipes, and I'm tired of finding new foods that act like Draino. 

I started using bigger bowls again, and I'm also nipping that in the bud. The hungries aren't going to rule over me if I can help it!

And definitely have a few salads this week. My salads tend to be protein-rich (chicken cobb or chef's salad usually, with baked meats instead of cold cuts), and if I decide to have a sandwich, I'll be adding some veggies to give it a nice crunch.

Unfortunately, the fall banged up my bad knee, and though I can walk okay on it, it's still giving me a little grief if I walk or stand too much. However, I still plan to walk a little outside in the fresh air. My arms are another matter; I have no idea what the heck I did to them when I fell, but there's a lot of muscle soreness going on that will cause problems with the moving and lifting of boxes I'd planned to do in the store this week.

The good news is I finished two writing projects, and I have plenty to do to keep me busy this week, even if I can't do all I wanted in the store. I'm making these beautifully fluffy hair bows to help raise funds for the bakery. I found several ways to speed up my hair bow production and even create tiny hair bows for barrettes and kiddie bowties with the leftover fabrics. 

If my mind and hands are busy, I don't eat!

I refuse to feel guilty for stumbling. Yes, I'm mad at myself, but I'm also looking at the problems and solving them as I move forward. I also realize part of this is psychosomatic because of my significant breakthrough and my tendencies to self-sabotage. 

This week I plan to readjust and observe my habits. Next week is weigh-in week, and I want to stay in the two hundreds!

Know thy enemy, know thyself. Sometimes they're the same person!

Monday, April 18, 2022

Year One, Week Thirty: Trouncing the Trifecta

Easter is the holiday of chocolate bunnies, Cadbury eggs, and my favorite, jellybeans. Those tiny, fruit-flavored ones. Total yum!

I did have a Cadbury egg or two and a few jellybeans (it's jellybean season, so it was a moral imperative), but I resisted my normal urges by eating all of them within a few days. Then my husband brought out the big guns- he made Easter Bread.

(Yes, this is the actual bread!)

Not the kind with the eggs inside (gross), but the flaky, chewy kind that's like a sweet Challa, topped with a vanilla drizzle. I thought it was great fresh out of the oven, but oh man, it was so much better the next day! Especially with butter. Everything is better with butter.

I also spent the past few days doing what I hadn't done regularly- walking. We had a warm spell, and my husband and I had a lovely few walks around the neighborhood. My joints were aching during the weather change (it's back to colder temps for the next week), but I managed to go quite a while without stopping for a break. 

Besides, I had Easter bread to walk off!

I stepped on the scale this morning, expecting the numbers to be elevated because that's what usually happens when I indulge in bread. Though I'd gained a little but not enough to tip the scales back into the three-hundreds! 

Take that, trifecta! I resisted over-indulging, walked often, and still managed to stay under 300 pounds- Hah!

I won't allow myself to get big-headed about it, though. I know if I keep skirting the rules my body set, it'll bite me in the butt next week. So I'll eat a bit less at least three times this week and forego bread at least four times.

Of course, when I have bread, you know it'll be the Easter bread. Heh.

Last week I started organizing some of the boxes in the store. We still have a ton of stuff from the move packed in there (and after six months of being here, we're not missing it much), so this week will be spent sorting and hauling more boxes into the Need and Don't Need piles. 

I'll be working off that Easter bread in no time!

Monday, April 11, 2022

Year One, Week Twenty-Nine: Breaking Barriers

 300-pound goal? SHATTERED!

I usually don't give away weight numbers, but in this case, it's warranted. I'm now a svelte 298 pounds, folks. I made it into the two hundreds!

However, I'm only one-third of the way to the finish line- I still have about 140 pounds to lose.

300 was my weight after having each of my kids. I went back to 265 when I had my first child, but stayed at 300 after my second child. I remained at this weight within a five-pound range for almost a decade. Even now, I still have a hard time imagining being lighter than 300.

My next goal is 280, and after that, 265. That last number is what I weighed when I got married almost twenty-five years ago (not including the weight loss after kiddo #1). 

Maybe when I reach that goal, I'll show you pics of me trying on my wedding dress! Twenty-five years is a long time, and though I won't be that weight within the next month (our anniversary is 5/10), I should be in the dress before the end of the year- how exciting is that?

I'm finding myself not wanting to eat as much as a month ago. I'm almost to the point of OMAD, but not quite there yet, and I'm okay with that. One meal and a snack, and on a rare occasion, a minimal meal instead of a snack when I want to 'feed the machine.' 

The food choices are also changing. I'm adding in more veggies and doing almost an Atkins eating plan without actually doing Atkins- or is it called paleo now? It doesn't matter, because I still eat what I like, just a lot less of it. I don't feel the need to feed my face like before during my two-hour window. I don't do two-hour windows as often anymore; I'm usually done eating within forty-five minutes, enjoying each of those minutes, savoring every bite.

By the time we open our bakery, the temptation of eating everything I make will be easily thwarted. Besides, I can put the irresistible foods (like our fabulous soft, buttery rolls) aside for when my window does open! Fresh bread as a sandwich or toasted and buttered with a hearty bowl of soup is the best!

I've lost 65 pounds just by controlling when I eat and being aware of what my body tells me. That's it. There are no special diets that force me to eat chicken livers, non-fat cheese, or gluten-free bread. No gym memberships or strenuous workouts. Instead, I eat what I like, what my body likes, in a time frame I'd never thought I'd be able to do. 

I do exercises my body wants to do, like walking and doing the unthinkable- housework! Intermittent fasting has also given me the energy to do the impossible by starting a bakery with my husband- a dream we've had for almost twenty years.

Breaking all kinds of barriers this week!

I hope this blog inspires you to keep going and not give up; you can do this!

Monday, April 4, 2022

Year One, Week Twenty-Eight: Tongue-In-Cheek Weigh-In

This month went by so fast that I almost forgot it was weigh-in week!

I behaved myself and stayed within my windows despite temptations. However, I got sick this week, so I didn't move much. Being sick also clogs my plumbing, so I had no idea what the scale would show me this weigh-in. I knew I'd lost weight; I just didn't know how much, and I stepped on the scale with excitement and trepidation.

Three hundred...point two.


I kinda feel like Lightning McQueen in Cars during the tiebreaker race. Maybe I should've stuck my tongue out to weigh less? Not that it mattered weight-wise, but I stuck my tongue out at the scale anyway. Humph.

Does a tongue weigh .03 pounds? That's all I needed to get into the two hundreds! 

Of course, the plumbing decided to work after weighing, measuring, and getting dressed. I considered disrobing and weighing again, but by that time, I'd drank water to take my thyroid medicine. I can't walk around undressed all day- it's too cold, and I didn't finish making the curtains for the house yet. No sense scaring the new neighbors because I'm waiting to pee. Double-humph.

Another reason I wasn't sure of the scale was my measurements. Let's take a look.

                  4 weeks ago:                    Now:                       Difference:       

Weight           303                          300                        -3 lbs.

Bicep              19"                        19-1/4"                    +1/4"

Chest             57"                        56-1/2"                     -1/2"

Waist          52-1/2"                     52-1/2"                      same

Thigh           28-1/2"                     28-1/2"                     same

Neck               17"                           17"                        same

Hips                60"                           61"                         +1"

Red used to be my favorite color- until now. That 'point two' aggravated me more than the three hundred did. But a loss is a loss, which means next month, I'll be in the two hundreds for the first time in over a decade- maybe even two decades!

My only concern now is that this weight goal is my biggest hurdle. Three hundred was my average weight for most of my adult life, and a body tends to remember where it was most comfortable weight-wise. But, as you can see from the results, my body is starting to fight back to avoid starvation and maintain this weight for as long as it can.

This means I need to step things up.

Better choices and more minor portions in my meals are a good start. I'm almost over being sick, so I'll get more active as I feel better. Maybe a few more greens and fiber-rich foods will help the plumbing issues. 

We recently went food shopping and filled our shelves with vegetables and fruity goodness, with plenty of lean meats for meals, so eating well will be easy.

This is going to be a fantastic week!