I'm Fighting Fat is about my journey weight loss! Come join me!

I'm fat. And I've been fat for far too long. It's time to start making changes, and this blog is to document those changes, along with a few tears, and even some laughs along the way.

This blog isn't about is going on a fad diet - in fact no 'diet' foods or pills are going to be used during this entire process! Any use of the word 'diet' in this blog will simply refer to foods being eaten, not any special plan or 'can or can't have' food lists.

I'll be eating a variety of foods, as unprocessed as possible. The plan is not to cut out or severely cut down, but to help my body (and mind) realize when I truly am hungry, and not depend on the clock to tell me when mealtimes are. Moderation will be the rule in both eating and exercising.

Join me on my journey, my trials, my failures and successes to discover a thinner me and possibly inspire you to lose weight too, without all the diet hype!

Monday, February 23, 2015

Week Six: The Dear-God-I'm-Stumbling-Up-The-Mountain New Eating Lifestyle

Has it been six weeks already? 

This week was a roller-coaster of both good and bad behaviors. One day I fasted, and one day I went way over the charts.

The day I fasted, I'd not eaten breakfast or lunch. But when the sun set, I feasted on too much dinner. I still was about 300 calories under my goal, but a 1200 calorie dinner is just too much food at one time! I was overfull and feeling quite mad at myself for over-indulging.

My second mistake was eating during a very stressful time. I had consumed 2100 calories in a day because I'd just figured "Heck with everything" and ate some take out, had a bad carby dinner, and then had a slice of pizza for a snack. Bad ideas all.
The take out wasn't too bad- the sandwich itself was about 500 calories- but the fries, oh those delicious, hard-to-resist fries! I'd bought a medium instead of a small, and even a small would have been too much. But I was frustrated, so I ate. 
Dinner consisted of BBQ ribs, buttered noodles (the Death Star of the caloric universe) and corn. Again, corn, not too bad, but I had enough buttered noodles to fill my plate, and I could have eaten less ribs. I think I would've been okay if I'd skipped the noodles though. Sigh.

I didn't get on the bike once this week. Not once. Double sigh. I feel like the Lion King intro- there's more to do than can ever be done- and I did all of the other stuff instead.

I still have no idea what I weigh, since all docs doors were closed to me. So, I'm looking forward to my appointment with the nutritionist this upcoming week. Yes, I screwed up one day (big time!), but for the most part I've been hitting my target caloric intake- Hopefully it will show on the scale.

Lessons learned:

Find something other than eating to do when stressed. Like kickboxing stuffed animals or getting on that bike!

Get on the bike. Get on the bike. Get on the ding-dang bike!

Eat more veggies. I haven't been eating them as much as I should. That 2100 calorie day I didn't eat any veggies!

There's no do-overs, but there are do-betters. Today is a new day- learn from your mistakes, make notes, and move on. Don't dwell on the one 2100 calorie day, dwell on the almost six weeks you behaved yourself (for the most part!)

Monday, February 16, 2015

Week Five: The Dear-God-I-Have-To-Get-Back-On-Track New Eating Lifestyle

My new eating lifestyle derailed a bit this week.

What is it with all the celebrations and holidays? I don't remember ever going to to eat this much in a whole year, no less the past month! But birthdays come, invites are cast, and valentines day dinners get planned. Really good, tasty Valentines day dinners. At church. With filet mignon. 

Last week was bad enough, and I'm finding myself hard pressed to hop back on the train of better eating. It didn't help that I won a jar of jellybeans at the Valentines day dinner. Jellybeans and chips are my kryptonite- just not together. Ew.

For the most part I did manage to stay within my caloric limits- although I admit that jellybean jar is a lot less full that it was before my husband and I had a movie night at home. Those tasty little Beans of Joy disappeared faster than politicians under surveillance. The kids and my husband helped, and now the jar is half full- or half empty, which is the better perspective concerning dieting- I mean a new eating lifestyle.

Exercise was as prominent as those politicians- I exercised when I remembered, but I didn't remember it very often. I should have remembered to exercise on movie night- I could have eaten more jellybeans. But alas, twas for naught, and I went to bed right after the sugar crash.

What I learned this week:

Get back on the dang bike. Schedule it. Plan it. Get it done early in the day when my energy is high and no one is in the house to tell me my girth is blocking the TV.

Set up snacks. I stopped cutting veggies for snacks and am paying the price. I used to cut enough for a day or two, that way I could grab and go. If it's not there, I grab other stuff that isn't good for me (yes, the Ghirardelli squares are still present and mostly accounted for) and I wind up grazing. Grazing is when you pick a little here and there until you consume a billion calories, yet never know it until you hit the scale. Ugh.

Find low-calorie recipes and meals that are within the 300-400 calorie mark. The more the better.

Stop bringing bad goodies in the house. Chocolate, jellybeans and chips will rarely be allowed in the house. I'm not saying never, because that's all I'll want. I won't deny myself a taste once in a while, I just won't buy the mega-pack, super-duper sized monstrosities that are supposed to feed a horde. I can get the same satisfaction from a single serving bag. I won't buy the bags in bulk either!

Find a place to weigh in. My docs office will no longer allow me to do impromptu weigh-ins. My nutritionist appointments are too far apart to stay on track (about once a month). I need a place that has a 300+ scale that will allow me to weigh myself without an appointment. The search continues.

That being said, I have no idea what I weigh- but I feel thinner, despite the Jellybean Incident.

Keep me in your prayers. Especially since I bought a comfort foods cookbook that doesn't have calorie counts on the recipes!

Monday, February 9, 2015

Week Four: The Dear-God-I-Messed-Up-Again New Eating Lifestyle

This has been a rough week.

Not because I was starving (because I wasn't), or because I craved a certain 'bad food' (because I didn't), but because of all the celebratory stuff happening this week.

Sunday was the Superbowl. I ate too much but planned for it, so I stayed (mostly) within my calorie range.

Sunday was also the day I bought my very first box of Girl Scout cookies (okay, I bought two). Most of them are still surviving on the snack shelf in my kitchen. Most of them.

Tuesday was my son's 17th birthday. I wasn't planning on much because we're doing a simple party for him and a few of his friends on Saturday. But my son came home and asked if we were doing anything special. He looked disappointed when I said no.

I'm not a bad mom, really- we had a ton of yummy leftovers in the fridge, so it made no sense to cook, and I was going all out on Saturday with homemade pizza and a scratch made chocolate cake with chocolate frosting- his favorite. But that look of disappointment broke my heart and I called my husband before he came home from work, so he could pick up something special for dinner.

Dinner was cheesesteaks and fries (yes, for us this is considered special!), and then we went out for dessert. I ate the former, but not the latter, and had a small bowl of chili instead (though I did have a few bites of the enormous piece of chocolate cake my son ordered!) I didn't need the chili, but my husband kept insisting I have something.

I blew my calorie count out of the water. And I didn't exercise that day either.

But I didn't berate myself. I still had some yummy leftovers that are low in calories and lots of salad stuff, so there was no reason not to behave the rest of this week- and exercise more.

I had to take my husband to the docs again, and managed to sneak onto the scale- I lost another 2.5 pounds! (Five pounds total.) I would have celebrated right there and then, but the nurse and the doctor (who had never seen us before) both assumed I was my husband's mother, and he was in college. Not sure how to take that. I just hope losing weight will make me look younger and not wrinkly like a Shar-pei.

Friday was prep day for my son's birthday party. I made fresh pizza dough, raspberry iced tea and a homemade chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. The best part is I never eat when I'm making food- the bad part is I usually eat the food the day after I make it. I'm planning on sending a lot of the cake home with his friends. I don't expect the pizza to survive though!

Surprise, surprise! My mother-in-law wanted to take us all out to a Chinese buffet. I love Chinese buffet! Deep breaths...behave...behave....I had a plate of meat and veggies, then had a second plate of fruit. All in all good choices, though I know I blew my calorie count out of the water- I can't even calculate this on my chart because of the mass variety of food I ate!

Guess what? MyFitnessPal did have a button for Chinese buffet. Ugh. Two-thirds of my total calorie count for the day. Definitely a step in the wrong direction.

Saturday was my son's party. Two friends came, and one brought his own food due to dietary constraints. I made three homemade pizzas, and they were less calories than I thought! I didn't indulge in the cake though- homemade chocolate pound cake with chocolate chips and a homemade chocolate cream cheese icing. I knew better than to eat that- though I did dip my finger in the frosting once or twice! So not worth the calories- though if someone cut themselves a piece later, I might ask for a bite. One.

I took my little packet of cucumber with me to church on Sunday and indulged in a half of a ham and cheese sandwich at love feast. I had a light breakfast and a small lunch. So far, so good. Dinner will be light as well to make up for the overindulging this week, but I'm not feeling well, so the bike might be out for today.

I had a tiny, small, infinitesimal piece of his birthday cake. It was good, but after the first two bites, not worth the calories. Next time I take the one bite I mentioned earlier, instead of a whole piece- as small as it was.

Lessons learned: 

Carby, non-veggie stuff does tend to make me hungrier. 
Because I didn't make snacks ahead of time, I would up skipping snacks or having something not-so-good instead. 
Skipping snacks made me eat more at mealtimes.
Several times this week I ate past my satisfaction point. Satisfaction point means almost full, but not truly "hungry" anymore. Especially at the buffet- I wanted my money's worth. It's a good idea not to go to buffets in the future.
I need to get on the bike in the morning or early afternoon or I just won't get on the dang thing!

Monday, February 2, 2015

Week Three: The Dear-God-I-Made-It-Through-the-Superbowl New Eating Lifestyle

It's getting easier to figure out these calorie guesstimates, but sometimes I tend to cheat on the amount of food by a few ounces- especially if I'm doing particularly well!

I'm going to work on being better without measuring every morsel. I don't want food to be my main focus, even though I had to focus on it for the first two weeks.

Food can rule your life in many ways- by using it for comfort (like I do), but also using it as a way to distract from the real world (like when you're dieting.) I don't think anyone wants to be that focused all the time.

I also need to step up the exercising. Mornings are better for me, and I'm better off doing it all at once instead of trying to do half now and half later. I always seem to forget to do the other half in the afternoon!
I'm also finding small issues with the tension on the bike- there doesn't seem to be much difference from the hardest setting to the easiest. Going to have to look at the manual on this one.

It feels really good to see I'm staying within the caloric parameters and not feel deprived- because I can choose any foods I want. Bread and pasta are delicious but are much farther down the list because they seem like empty calories now. Meat, veggies and fruit have moved into the top three spots, with homemade lightly sweet iced tea coming in a close fourth.

Oddly enough, I've gained more confidence in myself with this new eating lifestyle because I'm succeeding!

Later in the week....

It was a little harder to keep the calorie count up because I'm feeling sick. Part of it was because my husband was sick all this week (and a six hour ER visit from 9pm to 3am didn't help), so I feel drained and I don't want to eat much- or exercise. However, it is nice to use those extra calories to munch on a couple handfuls of popcorn while watching a movie with my husband!

Soups seem to be the best way to save on calories, as long as the broth is clear. Although when you're sick, you could drink a gallon of the stuff and still have a ton of calories left over. I'm still going to register everything I eat, but I'm not going to worry if I don't reach the 1500 range- at least until I feel better. In the mean time I'll do soups, smoothies and maybe some eggs for breakfast.

It's Superbowl Sunday weekend, so I'm saving my calories for the big game. We have a gathering at our church, and I expect all kinds of savory goodies will be there. I hope I remember to get on the bike and exercise so I can have a few more calories!

I went to church and one family was bombarded by churchgoers after service. I went to see what all the hubbub was about, and here they were selling girl scout cookies. To be honest, I'm not a fan since I home bake- but since I haven't been baking, I decided to give them a try. I bought one box each of Lemonade and Thanks-a-Lot- shortbread cookies that have  either chocolate or lemony chocolate bottoms. I ate one of each. Not bad, but I'd go for the Lemonade ones next time- the chocolate ones were too thin on the chocolate!
And at 75 calories a cookie, I won't be eating them unless I'm desperate!

After the game...
I ate too much, but I enjoyed myself thoroughly! I wish I had gone on the bike though- that would have given me a few more calories to fend off, but I think I did fairly well for what was offered. I had chili and a turkey hoagie (some call it a sub, but we here in Philly don't!) and a four Doritos- that's right- four. For  chipoholic, that's real restraint!

All in all, this entire week was good, but could have been better. I ate more junky foods, but only to the point of satisfaction. I forgot to make smoothies most of the week, and should have had more salads, but I felt a little tired of all the veggies. I'll work on expanding the menus and recipes in the coming weeks so I don't backslide- though I have kept true to the "is it worth the calories" mentality- sometimes you just gotta have a cookie or a hoagie!