Year One, Week Forty-Seven: Finding Balance

This past week was better than the last, but still quite stressful.

Trying to juggle three people struggling with three different stresses while all in the same house isn't easy. Throw in an eating plan, and things get more than a bit crazy.

It's not easy finding balance in chaos.

Image by Manfred Richter from Pixabay 

My daughter was told she was both accepted, then rejected by the same college, so we're still trying to sort that out.

My husband and I tried to sell my plants at a small, local farmers' market this weekend but only sold two plants because there was a fair going on down the road that garnered most of the paying patrons that usually peruse the market.

No job prospects for my husband last week, and I didn't find much available on the job sites this past week. It's hard to sleep well when stressed, and though I did okay for my eating windows, I ate too much or too long because my brain was in a fog.

But there is good news!

I got an email about a job offer over the weekend, and I did the interview yesterday. The interviewer likes me, and after a background check, they should get back to me in the next day or two about the position.

And they also suggested my husband apply because his skills would fit nicely into their company. However, he's debating with himself about it because he doesn't know how hectic this place is (triggering his brain stress disorder) versus staying home and focusing on baking and prepping the store for the bakery build.

Whether they take him or not, I think I got the job! I'll keep you posted.

Now, if/when I get this job, my IFing will have to change because I probably won't eat at work, simply because most of what I like to eat is freshly cooked. I know that sounds snobbish, but it's true- cold or microwaved scrambled eggs with veggies, meats, and cheese doesn't taste the same as fresh and hot from the stovetop. 

I could occasionally take a chicken cobb salad or meat salad (chicken, shrimp, or tuna). Still, I think on the whole, I might just make an early breakfast as my OMAD and maybe a small snack of something meaty like cold roasted chicken if I have protein pangs. 

Working is definitely going to keep me from bingeing!

The job is 9-5 with no weekends (Saturdays maybe twice a year), and I'll be sitting for most of it (sewing machine operator), so I'll walk on my breaks and take a lot of water with me. The drive is about 1 hour and 15 minutes, and that's a long day to not eat. I wouldn't get home until 6:15 at the earliest, so I think it's best to eat in the morning before work since I'm usually up early anyway.

I'll keep you posted on that as well.

This whole month was a blur. I still can't believe next week is my weigh-in. Honestly, I looked at the scale this morning, and it doesn't look good. But I'm still hopeful.

I'm praying this week will get better!

Year One, Week Forty-Six: Working Through the Maze

This was a bad week.

I used to be a negative person, but after a lot of work, mentally and physically, my mindset for the past few years has changed to a more positive one.

This week didn't break me, but I'm starting to feel more than a bit cracked.

And, of course, this affected my IF because I'm an emotional eater.

We had hoped that the bakery would be up and running by now. However, the rules keep changing, and we discover new regulations that we have yet to meet. When we think we're ready to apply for financing, there's another hurdle to jump. 

Since the new year, we've been looking for jobs to tide us over, hoping to save enough to get all the certifications, licensing, and equipment to start a cottage-industry bakery.

Looking for work has been a mixed bag of disappointment. 

My husband was diagnosed with brain stress disorder right before we moved here in October 2021. However, after several health issues working in manufacturing jobs up here, the docs have banned him from doing any manufacturing or warehouse work. Covid, walking pneumonia, and vertigo have plagued him at three different jobs so far, and most jobs up here are warehouse or manufacturer oriented.

I never realized I was 'old' until I started applying for work. I've done many odd jobs through the years, but being an at-home mom doesn't count much in the business world. Most jobs up here are for a younger and more fit body than mine, so there aren't a lot of opportunities. I've tried selling handcrafted items online, but people aren't buying in this economy, and I don't have the money or skills to market things online well enough to get noticed.

Then my daughter got the bad news that she won't get into the college she wanted and had to raise her GPA at a community college before reapplying. She was transferring from a college that treated her like crap because she didn't own a horse and wasn't prestigious enough to 'earn' therapeutic horse-training classes, despite working at an actual horse therapy ranch for almost six years. 

I hope now you understand why I ate like a pig this week.

No, I shouldn't have. It was hot and miserable, so walking was out of the question. I was frustrated, bored, felt trapped in the house, and ready to break down into tears at random moments. So I ate.

I know God is with me, and He loves me. I know some of you are sympathetic, but I also know some are looking down your noses at me for being so weak.

That's fine, but please keep your harsh words to yourself. 

I'm not interested in hearing how to fix it, how to get over it, or how I need to pray more. You don't need to judge me because I'm doing enough of that on my own.

However, I absolutely accept all hugs with open arms.

Two steps forward, five steps back. I'm just working my way through the maze.

Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay 

From the beginning, I promised to be honest with you, and lately, I've avoided telling you everything because it's been negative, and I want to encourage people, not deter them from getting healthy. But sometimes, the circumstances merit a little misery, so others stop thinking it's all rainbows and unicorn poop.

Sometimes life sucks.

I know I'll get through this eventually, and I've already made eating adjustments, so I don't blow my IFing out of the water like I did last week. It won't be easy, but who said it ever would be?

Starting a business is hard enough. Unfortunately, starting a food business is even more challenging. Throw in the economy, financial hardship, and red tape with a sprinkle of college disappointments, and it makes for a bitter-tasting stew.

I know we must be doing something right if the devil is putting on cleats before trying to stomp us in the dirt. We just have to find the right way, which takes more time and patience than I possess.

Please send hugs and prayers. That's all I need. Thank you for listening- I love you all so much!

Year One, Week Forty-Five: I Did It Again

The week went well, but the weekend! Why do weekends torment me so much?

Well, we had friends over, for one. But that's no excuse for eating like I did. And I realize now that this seems to be a pattern with me. Get near a goal or have a great few months, then BAM- binge attack!

Why, oh why do I keep doing this to myself?

I wasn't quite in a food coma this weekend, but it was close. I still feel bloated and tired.

Image by Isa KARAKUS from Pixabay 

I guess this is why food addicts like myself must always stay in check. Let me off the leash, and I eat all the garbage. Bad human! Bad!

Am I going to hate myself for this foul-up? Nope. But it's okay to get a little mad, as long as the anger brings about positive change.

The last time I binged was a while ago, and the binges seem less frequent. I'm also not eating myself into a stupor when I do binge. I probably wouldn't feel as bad as I do today if I hadn't eaten any bread- but I did, and so I do. I knew better, but I still did it. There was also a ton of our homemade pasta salad leftover from two events we attended, and my husband wanted everyone to eat the rest because there were a lot of leftovers. I added meat into the mix, but it was still a lot of pasta.

And the bread and pasta were delicious. 

I refuse to beat myself up over it. It's eaten, and the weekend is over. Now to move forward.

Since we live in the boonies, it's hard to go grocery shopping, and I'm out of lettuce. Since it's mid-summer, there's a good chance the farmers don't have much lettuce (it's a colder weather crop), but I'm putting a shout-out to find some. I need a few salads this week that don't involve pasta.

We did find some cool purple sweet peppers I can't wait to try, so maybe I'll make some kind of meat salad like ham or chicken to put inside the peppers for a chilled lunch. So yummy!

I stepped on the scale this morning and wasn't happy with the numbers, but I knew that would happen. So why did I do it? To motivate me to stay away from bread and pasta for as long as possible. Knowing that it bloats me and makes me gain weight is a good deterrent, though I'll be honest- if I'm craving it, I won't deny myself. But I'll wait until I'm truly craving it before I eat any.

As for exercise, I haven't done much because of the heat. Unfortunately, humidity isn't my friend, and I melt when the weather is what I call 'ogres-armpit' humid. We have one air conditioner downstairs, and it's in my sewing/writing space, so that's where I plant myself when the weather turns volcanic.

And we've been test-baking, so the kitchen radiates heat like a...well, like an oven. I can't wait until we get this store cleaned out and start baking there instead.

I promise I won't test the baking. I'll leave that up to my husband and daughter!

Year One, Week Forty-Four: Slow and Steady Wins the Weigh-In (And a Life Hack!)

It's time!

This week was awesome! It was also bloody hot, so going outside wasn't in the cards. But staying in and getting stuff done was!

I also learned something new while enjoying the AC.

Did you know there's an incredible life hack involving constipation? Constipation is a problem when you're IFing, and I've had an issue with it before I even started my IF journey, so I decided to watch this video and give it a try:

Ear Pressure Point to Poo and Ease Cramps

It actually works! I did this all week, and the pipes were no longer clogged. WOOHOO! After doing this two days in a row, I had to stop because things were going a little too well, if you get my meaning. Every other day works perfectly for me.

Since it was so hot, I kept a slow and steady pace while doing chores, and it paid off. Team Tortoise!

Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay 

The week itself had good eating windows, but this weekend was heavier on the food intake than usual, so I decided to wait a day (and do a little ear acupressure) before weighing in this week. 

Let's take a look at the numbers:

                4 weeks ago:           Now:                       Difference:       

Weight           294                  291                         -3 lb.

Bicep           19-3/4"            19-1/2"                      -1/4"

Chest             56"                56-1/4"                     +1/4"

Waist           51-1/2"               52"                         +1/2"

Thigh              29"                  28"                           -1"

Neck               17"                  17"                         same

Hips                60"               59-1/2"                       -1/2"

Not too shabby! More blue than red and a three-pound loss. I'm a happy camper! Since this was a short weigh-in month (3 weeks), It looks like I'm back on track- and the best part- next month, I might be in the 280s!

Headed towards my next weight goal- 278 lbs. Isn't that exciting?

Who knows? When I get down to 265, I might take some extra pics of me in the wedding dress I wore 25 years ago to celebrate!

Year One, Week Forty-Three: Here a Tweak, There a Tweak

So much going on this week that my head is spinning!

Lots of stress. Lots of opportunities to binge and make myself miserable. 

It wasn't easy, but I persevered. Of course, it helped that I did a lot of tweaking. 

Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay 

A lot of tweaking.

The hungries hit hard this week. I added a lot of veggies to my meals and not much rice or potatoes, so maybe that's why. Veggies don't fill me up, but meat does. From my perspective, I'm feeding hundreds of vegans and vegetarians each year by eating the animals that eat their plants! I'm a meatatarian and proud of it.

Seriously though, I don't have an issue with vegans or vegetarians. I tried doing it and found my body had to have meat to remain healthy- and sane. So we can agree to disagree here, folks. I love you no matter what you eat.

Sometimes I ate twice a day because my body said so- not just hunger pangs (those I can drown easily), but the kind of hunger that makes you feel off, like what I'd eaten wasn't what my body wanted, nutritionally. So then I'd sit there for a minute and listen for what my body craved. Sometimes it was protein, sometimes it was veggies or fruit. 

Last night I was craving potatoes. Oh man, did they taste good! After eating them, the hungries settled for the night and left me alone this morning.

And I'm still losing weight. Not a ton, but the scale continues to show lower numbers.

I'm in it for the long run- like, forever. Wow- nine more weeks, and it will be two years since I started!

If you think about it, it took me twenty-five years to get this big. Longer, actually, since I was a svelte two-sixty-five when we married. The last time I was under two hundred was in my late teens- almost thirty-five years ago. Using my current weight, an average weight loss of thirty-five pounds a year beats the stuffing out of my weight gained!

I still have another one hundred and forty pounds to go, so if my average stays that way, I should reach my goal weight in four to five years. After that, I will be my thinnest at nearly sixty- how crazy if that?

So I'll keep tweaking, listening, and eating when my body demands it. Looking forward to weigh-in week next week!

Year One, Week Forty-Two: Bread and Water (and pickles too!)

This week was so much better than last week.

Oddly enough, the title isn't about prison food from the movies. I cut down on bread, drank a lot of water, and found something in the pantry that I forgot I bought- mini dill pickles.

Image by Henryk Niestrój from Pixabay 

I haven't had pickles in so long- so on my 'bread' day, I had a sandwich with a homemade buttery roll and a side of mini dill pickles. Totally yum! I eat bread twice a week, which seems to work well now.

My husband made a flourless chicken and shrimp risotto, with plenty left over for the next few days. Then I raided the freezer, found a few single-serving homemade soups, and ate a lot of eggs with ham and a side of bacon for most of the week.

I also found a great snack- freshly popped cheddar and sour cream popcorn. I found this treasure trove of powders to sprinkle on popcorn or chips at an Amish store and got a few samples. We pop the popcorn, and while it's hot, sprinkle the powder as we toss the popcorn to coat it evenly. I don't eat it a lot, but it makes for a nice snack when the family sits for a movie.

One of the reasons I wasn't feeling so great last week is I was severely dehydrated. So this week, I had a lot more water, and the salt from those pickles also helped. I know that sounds weird, but salt never affected me. I have low/normal blood pressure (which shocks the doctors to no end), and because most of my meals don't have extra salt (my husband has high BP), I can indulge occasionally.

I also have been breaking my meals in half, so I have two smaller meals within the hourly eating window instead of one bigger one. This allows me to have a variety of foods and keeps me from getting bored. Yes, I love having eggs every day, but I also like having soups, sandwiches, popcorn, and savory leftovers my family had the night before.

This is the season of fresh produce from the local farms. Yesterday I had corn freshly picked that morning!

Intermittent Fasting doesn't mean depriving yourself. There are a ton of foods out there to savor and enjoy. God made it taste good for a reason! Eventually, your body will reset, and you'll be surprised at how your tastes will change.

For me, it was soda and, more recently, my go-to comfort food, buttered bread.

About six months in, soda started tasting like acid to me. I wasn't a big soda drinker anyway, but I drank it whenever we went out somewhere to eat. Now I ask for tea or water because that soda stuff just tastes nasty. The only soda I found palatable was a brand up here in the mountains called Kutztown. Not a lot of junk in it, and naturally flavored. I still don't have it often, but it's delicious when I crave something fizzy.

Most of the time, when I eat, I drink homemade green tea with raspberry and pomegranate. There isn't much sugar in it, but it is the best-tasting tea I've ever made, and it's a staple in our house.

The most recent shocker was buttered bread. I wanted something the other day, and we were baking rolls, so I decided to have one fresh out of the oven with butter slathered all over it. It smelled incredible, but it was bland when I took a bite. Thinking I'd used unsalted butter, I asked him if he had changed the butter dish or done something different to the bread. Nope. It was just me.

I was so disappointed. I loved buttered bread!

Yet I had a sandwich a few days later with that same bread, which was fantastic. So it's just me.

I guess I'll make green tea and popcorn my go-to snack now! Gosh, golly-gee darn...how will I ever survive? 😁

Year One, Week Forty-One: Rough Week Weigh-In

The Creation Festival was fantastic!

It was also exhausting.

Image by Екатерина Гусева from Pixabay 

I worked the face-painting booth and sat in one position for hours in 90-degree heat. I used to do this professionally, so once I was in my zone, the world around me disappeared, and it was just me and the child I was painting (and one adult who wanted shark teeth on his thumb and index fingers so he could 'bite' family members!)

My eating windows were all over the place. Sometimes I ate before the event, and one time I forgot to eat until I got home around dinnertime. I definitely overate, and sometimes they'd offer ice pops while we were working to help cool us off, so my fasting period wasn't as long as it usually was.

I'm glad I did it, but I'm also happy it's over.

Let's take a look at those numbers, shall we?

        4 weeks ago:                    Now:                       Difference:       

Weight           295                  294                         -1 lb.

Bicep              20"               19-3/4"                      -1/2"

Chest             55"                   56"                         +1"

Waist           51-3/4"            51-1/2"                      -1/2"

Thigh           28-1/2"               29"                         +1/2"

Neck               17"                  17"                         same

Hips             59-1/4"               60"                        +3/4"

Looks like I have a few more mountains to climb. A one-pound loss isn't much, but it's still a loss- I'm headed in the right direction!

I need to find new exercise methods because being in that wonky position during face painting messed up the tendon on the side of my knee. I hurt it before, so I know staying off of it and keeping my legs straight will allow it to heal, but for the moment, my walking is limited.

I weighed and measured myself yesterday morning, but since it was a holiday, I decided to forgo the windows and satisfy a few cravings. So, after the parade and enjoying the entertainment at the local fair, I watched a movie with my family while snacking on a huge bowl of homemade sour cream and cheddar popcorn (the flavoring was a powder made for popcorn.) 

It was so worth it!

So this week's agenda is resting, sewing, and planning satisfying meals. I've been craving baked potatoes lately. I love me a hot baked potato!

The past week was rough but not as difficult as I thought. I managed to stay away from bread and pasta and got a lot of protein. I will say one thing, though- I'm getting tired of ham and eggs! I had them a lot this week (because they're easy and quick to make), and though I love them, I've had my fill for now.

My next weigh-in is in three weeks because I forgot to take my numbers last week. In a few more weeks, I'll be Intermittent Fasting for two years- Wow!

Looking forward to a new week filled with promise- and baked potatoes!