I'm Fighting Fat is about my journey weight loss! Come join me!

I'm fat. And I've been fat for far too long. It's time to start making changes, and this blog is to document those changes, along with a few tears, and even some laughs along the way.

This blog isn't about is going on a fad diet - in fact no 'diet' foods or pills are going to be used during this entire process! Any use of the word 'diet' in this blog will simply refer to foods being eaten, not any special plan or 'can or can't have' food lists.

I'll be eating a variety of foods, as unprocessed as possible. The plan is not to cut out or severely cut down, but to help my body (and mind) realize when I truly am hungry, and not depend on the clock to tell me when mealtimes are. Moderation will be the rule in both eating and exercising.

Join me on my journey, my trials, my failures and successes to discover a thinner me and possibly inspire you to lose weight too, without all the diet hype!

Monday, March 15, 2021

Week Twenty-Five: Return From Never-Ever Land

So many changes...could it be that almost six months ago I was nearly crippled?

My world was limited. I began to realize there were things I might not ever do again. Like shopping in a regular store, simply because I couldn't walk or stand for long. I could never tour my daughters' college grounds or visit the horses there. And I certainly would never be able to go on long walks with my husband during vacations, whether they were on mountain trails, beaches, or boardwalks!

My world was shrinking to a Never-Ever Land. I was becoming my own, immovable island.

Photo by Tom Winckels on Unsplash

Intermittent fasting has changed not only the way I eat, but it's also changed my health, the way I live, and even changed my relationships with those around me.

All for the better!

Two major firsts since I started this journey; I no longer need to use those motorized carts at those warehouse stores, and I took my first pain-free shower this past week.

These might not seem huge accomplishments to most, but for me, these are epic.

If you read my IF journey from week one, you know I was in constant pain. I was at the point that no matter if I was standing, walking, or sitting, I couldn't do it for long because it would start to hurt. Showering was absolute agony. My back would spasm. My calves would burn, and sharp pains would make the muscles cramp. I couldn't even reach parts of my anatomy to clean myself properly! 

By the time the shower was over, I was hobbling, in tears because it hurt so bad, making small hurried baby steps from the bathroom to my side of the bed (which was less than ten feet away since our bathroom is part of the master bedroom) just so I could sit down for relief. It took several minutes with my calves shaking uncontrollably before the cramps would stop, and only then could I straighten my legs and finish toweling off.

I avoided showers- sometimes for two weeks in a row.

Shopping wasn't much better unless I had a motorized cart. I even left the store once because no carts were available. They used to have a bench where I could wait, but there were no places to sit since the pandemic hit. When the pain got too bad, and there was no motorized cart in sight, I left.

My husband, who was already exhausted from work and ministry duties, took over what was supposed to be my job. He also took over most of the cooking because I couldn't stand at the stovetop too long.

My weight and eating increased because I was stuck on a couch, bored and hurting, and the only way I knew how to comfort myself was through food. So I got bigger and hurt more. It was a vicious cycle.

Six months. That was all it took to change my life and my relationships forever.

I'm more active than I was when I weighed 300 pounds- and I'm actually thirty pounds heavier! And guess what? I still have chips- just not every day. I don't want them as much anymore. But the energy! I've been doing so much more around the house, parking a little farther in the parking lots during my work hour deliveries, and even started repotting ginger to put in my sewing room windows.

Not to mention my marriage is so much stronger than it was- and it was pretty strong to begin with. But all of the household tasks were becoming his, and that's not fair. I haven't taken over everything I'm supposed to do yet, but I've been able to relieve the pressure from him and even do a few extra things to help him out. We are partners, and I've been sitting on the couch too long. Literally. 

We are so much happier now because he can depend on me more- and he can rest and relax like he should. I forgot how much I like cooking for my family.

Oh! I must tell you about the jellybeans!

Easter for me is Jellybean Season. I'm a jellybean fanatic! I love the colors, flavors (yes, I even came to love the black licorice ones), and when I saw a deal for three bags, I got them. I took them home, giddy that I would soon be in jellybean Nirvana.

I got home, tore open the bag, and took two of each flavor in rainbow order (because that's how I roll), and popped two in my mouth.

I was underwhelmed. They didn't taste like I remembered them. 

Disappointed, I closed the bag and took my bean stash out of my hidden spot, and put them on the shelf for the general public (aka my family) to eat.

I found another three-bag sale on another brand of jellybeans. These were lower-grade candy than the first brand, but I remember liking them. So I bought them. Got home, did the same rainbowy thing, and chewed. They were okay but not stellar. Into the general population you go.

Then we went to that warehouse store. I walked the entire thing! And guess what? They had really high-quality jellybeans. The bag had some weird flavors, but I liked most of them. It was a big bag, and almost reluctantly, I put them in my cart. Third times the charm...right?

Took them home. Didn't even bother with rainbows or flavors this time because there were thirty kinds of beans in that bag. But I did find two of the same kind and popped them in my mouth.

I chewed. They were better than the last batch, but not the mouth-and-mind-blowing experience I used to have. But these were good enough to stay in my stash- just not good enough to eat the whole bag in one sitting. These were every-so-often-when-I-want-something-sweet kinda candies.

The Jellybean Season is over. For good this time. 

Though the chocolate-coated caramel eggs are awesome. They are also an in-the-mood treat.

I returned from Never-Ever Land into a broadening Land of Opportunities. The more I do, the more I want to do, and the more confidence I'm gaining in getting things done!

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