Year One, Week Twenty-Seven: Arguing With Myself

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk from Pexels

It's happened once or twice...or a million. Your eating window isn't open yet, and you see or smell something that makes your mouth water- but it's not time to eat yet.

But it could be if you just opened the window a little earlier.

Wait, says that rational little voice inside of you. Just wait a little longer, and you can eat that. 

Then the stomach chimes in with a loud growl. Feed me NOW!

Do it, your mouth tells you.

It smells so good! Your nose says, getting a second whiff.

Eat it, and I'll stop gnawing your backbone, the stomach rumbles.

Your eyes glance at the clock. Would an hour early kill you? They plead. It looks good enough to eat- and see that steam? It's still hot!

Enough! Your brain yells, silencing everyone in the room. Stay on track. An hour of waiting won't kill you either.

Your stomach growls again. Your brain moves you over to the sink to drown the stomach with water.

This is the fight I fight almost each and every day, folks.

My daughter gets up at the crack of dark, and I can smell the bacon she's cooking. I hear it sizzling. Bacon is my favorite vegetable, and my stomach is thrown into overdrive. Often my husband eats with her, and I miss out on early morning family breakfasts.

Sometimes even my brain gets divided. Don't you want to eat with your family, you heartless woman? My impulsive self whines. If you don't start eating with them more often, you'll become a reclusive hermit with no friends or family. Is that what you want?

Then the rational brain kicks in. How can you join your family at mealtime if you're too fat and unhealthy to move? You can't eat with them if you die at an early age...right? Aren't you eating and spending time with them nearly every afternoon?

I know my rational brain is right. So I sigh, drink water, and find something better to do with my time until my window opens. Most of the time.

Sometimes the arguments end with me lowering my guard and eating earlier (or eating more) than planned. That's a rarity now, but it was a lot harder to stand firm in the beginning. It's easier to resist as I continue, but I still have this inner conversation almost every day. 

No, it isn't easy, but it does get easier. 

Other days, I find myself so distracted with work and writing that the time zips by, and I open my window later than intended. This awesomeness doesn't happen as often as I'd like, but it is happening more frequently. 

If I wasn't as diligent in my eating windows, time zips wouldn't happen much, if at all.

Even as I sit here, my stomach is complaining. I'm going to drown it after I post. I have two hours before my window opens, and I have plenty to do before eating. 

If you have the same problem, train your brain to shut the peanut gallery up (ooh, peanuts!) and drink to fill the void until your window opens. You'll feel better- not only physically but mentally as well. And if you can control your own body, you can conquer the world!