I loved sledding.
There were two hills the neighborhood kids loved to sled down in winter at the local park; one had a slight slope but went far, and the other had two steeper drops but a level spot in the middle. I decided to avoid the steeper drops because the lesser slope looked a lot safer.
Boy, was I wrong.
Image by Pezibear from Pixabay
It started out slow and steady. At first, it was fun! But then I started gaining speed and found I the slope had no level spots to slow down. By the time I'd gotten to the bottom, I was going full tilt and out of control.
Luckily my brother was there to catch me before the trees caught me.
He convinced me to try going on the steeper double sloped run, and though it was a bit scary going down the first hill, I leveled off and went down the second, not-so-steep hill. By the time I'd gotten to the bottom, I could stop myself.
The past week was a similar experience with Intermittent Fasting.
Last week, I said I'd walk more. I did, but not at the park. I walked around the huge warehouse of a store as I went grocery shopping. I walked a little as I did errands. When I went to the park, my daughter came with me, and instead of walking, we fed the fish. I'd even gotten food for the geese, but I think we were later than usual because the geese were gone for the day.
On a good note, I'd gotten a lot done around the house!
I promised myself I'd get up when my husband did, and so far, so good. But like the slopes, I was going downhill fast. I was awake but wasn't getting out of bed for hours. I don't mean an hour or two, but hours as in at least four. I broke my record by staying in bed for over five hours this morning.
Five hours.
I'm confessing this because I feel like I'm on that slight slope and going downhill faster and faster. I need to hold myself accountable. I've been having fun on the slope, but the ride downhill is starting to get scary.
This week, I wanted it all. I've been finding all kinds of reasons to eat more than I should. I wanted to eat many different things, but I didn't want to give up regular portions. I've been reasoning my way out of smaller servings, to the point that my husband noted that I ate a lot this weekend.
No, don't get mad at him, folks; I asked him to tell me when he saw my backsliding.
I'm realizing that I'm headed down that slope faster than I thought.
Unlike the slope, I have the power to put on the brakes anytime I want to. I control this ride, no one else. I have to make changes, and not all of them are food-related.
Do you want to know what I was doing for five hours this morning? I was watching videos on my phone. Not even educational videos- Just human interest stories, funny clips, and intriguing, time-wasting junk. Honestly, I can also add phone games to the time-sucking list, but I've limited my gameplay well, so I'm not spending a lot of time or money on them anymore.
But those videos must go. Especially in the mornings when I'm susceptible, thinking I have some time to kill. Between my eyes opening and getting out of bed, time seems to fly.
I'm so mad at myself- this blog is usually done in the early morning, not in the afternoon!
Have you ever self-sabotaged yourself? I've done it more than I'll admit, even to myself. I'm not going to let this setback keep me down though. I'm going to take that anger and turn it into the energy I need to get my lists done. I'm fighting fat, and it's not going to win! Not this time. Not ever.
This week, no more laying/sitting in bed for hours. Any portions I give myself will be in smaller bowls and plates. The only exceptions to this rule are brothy soups as a main meal and salads that are the main meal. Chips are put on a plate for a side dish, not to be directly eaten from the bag. No seconds on anything.
I intend to go outside more, away from the house if possible, even if it's for a walk around the block or to feed the park fish. Just getting away from a house full of food for an hour can keep me from doing something stupid. I might even add a few outside chores to the list. I need to read instead of watching TV when I take a break- I can read outside if it's cool enough!
Have you found yourself backsliding, afraid you won't make it? That's the beauty of the IF journey. It's not a sprint- it's a lifetime marathon where you get to set the pace. There's power in the ability to make your own choices. Don't turn your frustration and anger toward yourself or others. Put that energy into positive changes that will benefit your life and those around you instead!
For now, my energy is spent in getting this house in order and caring for my family. Your priorities might be vastly different, but the goal is the same. Turn that energy you used to berate and damage yourself into something that will make you and the others around you thrive.
We can beat fat and get healthier- together!
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