I'm Fighting Fat is about my journey weight loss! Come join me!

I'm fat. And I've been fat for far too long. It's time to start making changes, and this blog is to document those changes, along with a few tears, and even some laughs along the way.

This blog isn't about is going on a fad diet - in fact no 'diet' foods or pills are going to be used during this entire process! Any use of the word 'diet' in this blog will simply refer to foods being eaten, not any special plan or 'can or can't have' food lists.

I'll be eating a variety of foods, as unprocessed as possible. The plan is not to cut out or severely cut down, but to help my body (and mind) realize when I truly am hungry, and not depend on the clock to tell me when mealtimes are. Moderation will be the rule in both eating and exercising.

Join me on my journey, my trials, my failures and successes to discover a thinner me and possibly inspire you to lose weight too, without all the diet hype!

Monday, June 14, 2021

Week Thirty-Eight: Loosey Goosey

Being at home is a bit more challenging than I thought it would be.

My schedule no longer runs my life; my life runs my schedule. It's as loose or as hard as I want it to be, and that's part of the problem.

I prefer my time to be firmly scheduled. But it's been loose as a goose lately.

Image by Here and now, unfortunately, ends my journey on Pixabay from Pixabay 

I'm lazy at heart. I like to get things done at my speed. I want that speed to be fast, but it isn't, and I know it. Then I get frustrated with trying to do too much and wind up sitting on the couch streaming Meerkat Manor.

This is why hard schedules don't always work. I try to do too much in one day, then I'm too tired to move two days afterward.

This week I decided not to give myself time restrictions but to make a list instead, doing three must-do's and three should-do's. It was working!

And then the weekend happened. Unfortunately, I forgot to make a list for Saturday and Sunday, and since my husband was away for a four-day Christian men's retreat until Sunday night, I was smack in the middle of Loosey-Gooseyville.

I've learned that giving myself free rein is a bad idea. For example, I got take-out because I wanted to treat myself. As a result, I ate more than I should have. Instead of cleaning out the entire living room of clutter, I did one section, decided I needed a break, and allowed that break to last for the rest of the day. 

Saturday, I had to take my daughter to work because her bus wasn't running (someone forgot the busses run differently on the weekends), and I realized I hadn't been out of the house almost the entire week! So I filled up my water bottle, grabbed a book, and decided I needed to go for a walk in the park.

I needed to walk. Housework wasn't doing enough for me physically. I also have some coy food for the park pond dwellers. I knew they recently stocked the pond with carp, and I loved feeding them. 

But wait, I hear you ask. Why the book and the fish food? Aren't you supposed to be walking? 

Yep. I sure am. 

I also know I've not been walking as much as I did when working, and my back and legs are misbehaving again. Back spasms aren't fun, so taking a book with me allows me to walk farther if I get to rest on the benches and read a little. I can end the walk by feeding the fish. 

I didn't need to read as much as I thought, and by the time the walk was over, it was starting to get hot. I got the fish food from the van and walked over to the pond. A family of geese was there, sitting on the opposite end. These geese never usually approach humans, so I tossed a handful of food in the water, waiting for the fish to nibble at the food.

The geese decided they wanted to meet me. Well, meet my food.

I was surprised- these were wild geese, and for the last few years, they wanted nothing to do with people. But they waddled right up to me like I was their new best friend.

They knew me from the times I sat by the pond. But this time, I had food. So I tossed some to them. They didn't seem very interested at first but ate enough that they wanted more. I got bold and decided to try hand-feeding them.

The leader hissed but nipped me a bit as he ate, the second wanted me to toss it, and their third was a sweetie and a bit shy as he ate daintily from my hand.

They wouldn't let me feed the fish.

By this time, my back was hurting a lot, and it was time to go. I rested my back as I drove home, and when I walked in the door, I was ready to tackle a few chores. Being outside and going for a walk definitely helped- in every way!

I keep telling myself I'll get up when my husband does, but I wind up staying in bed hours longer than I need to, just to avoid going downstairs and be tempted to eat sooner. Down days are getting harder. When working, I waited until I got home- usually around 3:30pm. But being in the house makes me want to eat sooner, and I find myself eating closer to 2pm. 

Walking in the early mornings would be a good habit for me. I just wonder if I'll actually do it. Maybe mid-early mornings after some light chores, like washing dishes or laundry and straightening up the bedroom? Sounds like a plan for tomorrow. As for now, I don't even have my six-item list together yet!

Time for me to get moving!


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