Year One, Week Thirty-Six: Setting A New Pace Weigh-In

This week was very enlightening. I really listened to what my body said each morning, and I decided what I would eat or not eat that day to see if my body reacted the way I wanted. 

It shouldn't have been a surprise, but I've finally figured out what my next pace in this dietary marathon is!

Photo by RUN 4 FFWPU

I need to do an Atkins keto-ish eating at least three to four times a week. When I do, the swelling goes down, and the weight comes off.

Basically, I just skip the bread, and I'm good to go!

So, why don't I just skip eating bread altogether? Because I was losing too fast. I want to keep it around two pounds a week, and I'd dropped almost four pounds in just a few days this last week. I don't want to crash my metabolism, so I'm being careful.

Besides, how can I give up bread when I'm a baker, for heavens' sake?

I'm sure I'll eventually have to give it up, but for now, here are the numbers:

                  4 weeks ago:                    Now:                       Difference:       

Weight           298                           295                         -3 lbs.

Bicep           19-1/2"                        20"                         +1/2"

Chest           56-1/4"                        55"                        -1-1/4"

Waist               52"                       51-1/4"                      -3/4"

Thigh           28-1/2"                     28-1/2"                     same

Neck               17"                           17"                         same

Hips                60"                         59-1/4"                     -3/4"

Still a lot of blue for a three-pound loss. I think a lot of the weight this past month was water loss. 

I can't tell you what a relief it was to see the numbers going down again! One of the best parts is when I do the high-protein and veggie days, I feel more satisfied, and the hungries almost disappear. The energy is coming back, and my stamina is slowly getting better.

Last week I truly felt like giving up. The scale last Monday read a whopping 302, and I thought my body would never let the weight go. But, on the other hand, I knew IFing was good for me- it was the longest I'd ever lasted doing any weight loss regimen, and I really had to sit down with my brain and rethink things. 

I was millimeters away from quitting, folks. Seriously.

But I also knew that the frustrations would be temporary because I was going through some stress that made me eat more not-so-great stuff. Emotional eating is a tough habit to break, but slowly, I'm chipping away at it. So I pulled up those big-girl undies and decided to try once more, think about what I was eating, and realized I'd had a lot of bread during the last few months.

I nixed the bread, took a walk or two, and now look at the results.

Technically I lost seven pounds this week, but since I only report my numbers once every four weeks, the difference is a three-pound loss. I'm okay with that!

Don't despair that the weight will never come off. It will. Just think about what you've been eating and your moods, and make adjustments.

And keep moving forward!

Year One, Week Thirty-Five: Sprint vs. Marathon

I stepped on the scale this morning and wasn't happy.

The numbers weren't ideal. In fact, they were downright disappointing. I sighed heavily, sat on my bed, and wondered if I just wasn't cut out to be thin. I couldn't get past a particular spot, and I truly felt like giving up.

That's the fear talking.

Fear of plateauing again for another 6-8 months. Fear that I'll always be fat. Fear that I'll never have enough self-control to maintain a decent weight, even if I did break this plateau. 

The harder I try, the harder it is to stick to my guns and push through. 

Photo by RUN 4 FFWPU

Last week I was sick. Now I'm just tired. I know this sounds like I'm giving up, but I'm not. No one likes to be held to the consequences of their actions, and my body is letting me know I haven't done what I'd promised I'd do. And dealing with your body is like dealing with a computer; you can't argue your way to weight loss, just like you can't yell at a computer to make it work properly.

I'm eating my own words, and they taste incredibly bitter. There's no one else to blame but me.

However, no one else can fix it but me either.

I have to keep reminding myself that this isn't a sprint- it's a marathon. It wouldn't be a smooth downward slope if my IF journey were charted. It would look more like the stock market!

Weight fluctuates, especially after a binge. I haven't been doing the low-carb days like I should, and I certainly haven't eased up on some of the snacks I should be avoiding. And because I wasn't feeling well, I barely walked. So is it any wonder why the numbers aren't favorable?

Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break when you screw up, put on the big-girl panties, and move forward. So that's what I'm doing after I've had a good cry- because it's still incredibly frustrating to be me right now- and that's okay, as long as I don't dwell in the frustration.

It really is all about mindset, folks. Part of me is still in sprint mode (fast weight loss, aka dieting) and is ready to be done with IFing. I've been sprinting in a marathon, and I'm burning myself out before I'm halfway finished the race- no wonder I'm tired!

What helps the most is keeping myself accountable via this blog and the support I get from my online IFers. If I didn't have those to lean on, I'd have never gotten this far. 

If you find yourself sprinting during your marathon, take heart- you can always set a new pace and catch your breath!

Year One, Week Thirty-Four: Binge Weekend

Well, It finally happened. The hungries hit right when I had an opportunity to eat- for an entire weekend. My husband and I volunteered to help at a farm/campground with his men's ministry, and the guys would provide the food.

There were no windows. There were no boundaries. I fully intended to only eat when there was something I don't typically have, but almost everything there was something I hadn't had for a long time. So I ate. And ate. And ate some more.

Photo by Tim Samuel

I ate way past being full. I fed the machine until the machine could barely function. And then I ate some more. By the end of the weekend, the hungries were finally sated, and I was feeling like a beached whale.

But the fun doesn't stop there. That night, I was feeling not-so-hot. At two in the morning, I was singing praises to the commode. Yep, you guessed it- I had a slight case of food poisoning. The consequences of overeating weren't lost on me as I sat in misery yesterday with a 100.5 fever. It's not fun when your body decides to clean house within a few hours.

I wanted nothing to do with food again. Ever. Even the smell of it made me feel ill. 

The only thing I did was sip water for most of the day until I realized the headache I was developing was due to not eating. I had a little green tea which helped, but around 4 p.m. I asked my husband to make me some of his homemade chicken rice soup. That was the only food that didn't make me gag when I thought about it.

Despite my vow to never eat again, I started feeling a little better after having the soup. Unfortunately, I'd also slept on and off most of the day, which is why this post is a day late. Not that my fevered brain would've been able to concoct a post in the first place. So I read when I could and napped when my body wanted, often right in the middle of a chapter. Even after all those naps, I still slept like a log the entire night.

If this is what a binge hangover is like, you can have it!

Today, I feel much better, though still a little wobbly. I think this experience will help me cut down on my daily food intake as I'd planned last week. The funny part is, I was eating less during the week before this debacle happened! 

I refused to weigh myself the entire weekend, but I was curious and stepped on the scale this morning. I hadn't lost anything (which was no surprise), but I didn't gain any weight either (which was a total surprise.) So I think God gave me a chance at a do-over- a chance I'm not squandering!

Mischief managed, lessons learned. I'm back to my one-hour eating window today, and food is still not overly appealing at the moment, but I know whatever I decide to eat will be eaten slowly and savored. In the meantime, I'm sipping water and keeping myself busy. 

In the end, the binge wasn't worth it. Next time I'm taking Tupperware!

Year One, Week Thirty-Three: The Hungries Out of Hibernation

Spring has sprung,

the grass has risen,

My stomach is won'dring

Why the food is missin'!

Ah, Springtime. Time for warmer weather, the smell of growing things, and animals waking from hibernation. But it isn't just the bears rising from slumber. My stomach has decided it's a bear that hasn't eaten all winter and wants sustenance. Now.

Hey! Where's the pizza?

I hear it complaining earlier and earlier each day. To be honest, I have no idea why, since I've been feeding it well when my window opens! The only reason could be the spring weather.

Yesterday was Mother's Day, and since things are a bit tight, I opted for us to get Chinese takeout and watch a movie when we got home from church. Chinese isn't a very meat-heavy meal, but I enjoyed every grain of rice and every lo mein noodle that came with it. So satisfying. 

For the first few hours. Then I started feeling empty again. 

I digest like it was a sport. My body is so used to a big meal once a day that it digests as fast as possible, hoping I'll give it more. And when I refuse, it gnaws on my backbone and growls like an annoyed Momma Bear. 

But I know that growl is saying more than 'FEED ME!' It's also saying, 'Now I have to go into the reserves to get a snack, you heinous wench.' And that means I'm about to burn off some serious energy stores. Yay!

Spring also means I can be outside for a bit without my knees complaining. I went for a few short walks, and as long as I stopped for short periods, my joints were satisfied with my slow progress around my property. Of course, the fresh spring air didn't hurt either.

I have to admit, sometimes I let the hungries get to me when I should be ignoring them. I don't feed them, but I get annoyed and try to drown them, even though I feel waterlogged already. To be even more honest, I'm still sitting too much, and though I have a lot to do mentally and physically, I get tired of doing the same stuff, and I get bored. 

Boredom makes the hungries more noticeable and much harder to ignore. 

Scheduling activities that strengthen my mind and body should help. For example, using a timer to break jobs into smaller bits so I'm not sitting for more than an hour. Exercises within my mobility levels so I can strengthen my stamina. I keep telling myself I'll do these things, but for some weird reason, I don't. But not this week!

It's like the beginning of my IF journey but with activity this round. Again, consistency but flexibility should allow me the freedom to not get bored. Or at least when I do, switch gears before I hear my stomach growling.

The only thing I'm consistent in is my inconsistency! So this week, I can use that to my advantage by shaking up my work schedule- but not to the point of being anal about it. If I must finish something, I complete it before moving on or working until I can pause without losing momentum. The alarms won't manage me; I'll manage them- Just like the hungries!

One, Week Thirty-Two: Breaking Records Weigh-In...With Pics!

Wow-what a month!

The struggle is real, folks. Over the last two months, my weight loss has slowed again, and to be honest, this week was especially troublesome. I'd sabotaged myself the previous week, and after making my post last week, I fell really hard in my yard. 

Arthritic knees don't like it when you fall on them. I couldn't even get up on my own. Luckily for me, the young man next door saw me fall, and my son (who was visiting us) ran out to help me to my feet, just as I cried out for help. 

They'd lifted me easier than I thought they would, and to be honest, I was pretty impressed. The only time since my honeymoon I'd ever felt all Princessy and stuff. I limped into the house, feeling a lot less Princessy as my legs and arms decided to chime in.

I was one big ache for the next few days. Walking was out of the question. My arms were sore, and I couldn't lift them above my head. We were out of the stuff to make salads, and since my husband and daughter were out working, I kept forgetting to ask them to go shopping. Ah well.

I made some protein-hearty meals, cut down on the bread, and used smaller dishes. Fiber was also in the cards and helped move things along better.

Now it's Monday, and I had to step on the scale. I'm not gonna lie- I was really wondering if the numbers were going to remain in the three-hundreds. So I stepped onto the scale, saw the screen flash, and...

Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

...Goal achieved!

                  4 weeks ago:                    Now:                       Difference:       

Weight           300                           298                         -2 lbs.

Bicep           19-1/4"                      19-1/2"                    +1/4"

Chest           56-1/2"                      56-1/4"                     -1/4"

Waist           52-1/2"                        52"                         -1/2"

Thigh           28-1/2"                     28-1/2"                     same

Neck               17"                           17"                         same

Hips                61"                           60"                          -1"

Okay, so the numbers aren't great, but they still count! There's more blue than red, and I'm FINALLY under 300 for the first time in years!

Woohoo- look at those changes! My arms are drastically thinner, and my butt is more defined. Also, my second chin is disappearing, and look how wrinkled the shirt and shorts are! Definitely, some progress going on.

These pics give me hope. I'm no supermodel (nor will I ever be- or want to be), but seeing the differences since I began is encouraging.

I wish I could say the rest of the ride will be downhill, but I know better. The struggle will increase as I get thinner. I need to rethink what and how I've eaten because I've been getting away with a lot.

Choices need to be made concerning meals- do I eat two much smaller meals or one bigger one? I like variety, but when I eat two smaller meals, I often feel bloated after eating a small meal or snack nearly two hours later. Sometimes, one bigger one also leaves me bloaty, but I get the hungries more often. So maybe I could mix it up a little and see what happens.

Also, I'm considering changing my eating window from a two-hour one to a one-hour one, possibly doing OMAD several times a week. Lately, I've forgotten to eat in time (I even set a timer but was involved or unable to eat at the time) and knew I didn't eat enough and had to extend my window to eat something small. It's easier to eat in one sitting, but I need to eat more because I get ravenous by the evening.

Maybe the book should be called Fast, Feast, Tweak!

I actually like tweaking my fast. It prevents getting stuck in eating ruts and allows me to be more flexible when needed. But unfortunately, the past two months have shown that what I've been doing needs to be taken down a peg or two to keep losing weight.

Tweaking windows, tweaking portions, and tweaking how I'm eating is crucial to getting to my next goal. Also essential is what I'm eating. 

Like I said, I've been able to get away with a lot during this first leg of this marathon, but now I have to hunker down for the second leg. Snacks are the first thing to tweak, not just in volume but in frequency. Meals need to be enough if it's an OMAD or in much smaller dishes if I want a variety that day. To start, I'm not going to plan which days- I'll just let them happen as they may, then see what kinds of patterns emerge.

I hope sharing the up and downs of my journey helps you in yours. I promise not to sugar-coat anything (though my twisted sense of humor might soften the blow) and tell you everything about how I feel and what I think. You aren't alone in this, and your feelings are valid! 

I hope this blog inspires you to be a healthier person, inside and out!