Week Fourteen: New Year, New Body

Has it only been twenty-five pounds ago that I was in the worst shape of my life?

Does twenty-five pounds really make that much of a difference in someone over three-hundred pounds?

Can you really see a difference in the mirror after losing just twenty-five pounds?

The answer to all three is Yes, yes, yes!

Image by lumpi from Pixabay 

The New Year is all about looking back and seeing what you can do better. I'm now in my fourth month of Intermittent Fasting, and the journey has been an incredible one.

Before I started my IF journey, moving hurt. Walking was difficult. Standing was worse! And showering was so painful that I avoided it until I couldn't stand myself. I began to depend on those motorized shopping carts and contemplated getting a wheelchair just so I could go on long walks in the park with my husband.

Now? Moving still hurts, but the pain is bearable and lessens day by day. I can walk with very little pain once I get started, and it's so much easier. I can walk longer and stand longer than before. And showering isn't the ordeal it used to be- I was nearly crippled with pain when I began, but now I can get out and walk to the bed with very little pain.

Food used to be my go-to for everything. I hurt, I ate. I was happy, I ate. I was sad, mad, or frustrated, I ate. And the more I ate, the bigger I got, and the more frustrated/mad/sad I got, the more I ate. It was a vicious cycle I had to break but didn't know how.

Now I do. 

I still eat what I crave, but the desperate urge to eat is gone. I don't feel guilty when eating (sometimes I feel regret, but that's not the same!), and when I do eat too much, I just adjust for the next day. Food doesn't own me anymore! I've become a lot happier in general, and even my family notices the changes in my attitude.

I actually feel happier when not eating- how weird is that? But I do look forward to my meals more than I ever did before. I savor the flavors, sniff all the smells, and fully enjoy the eating experience. And it feels awesome.

As for the mirror and me, we never got along well. I'd even avoid the bathroom mirror that just showed my face, simply because of my double chin. I'd make a funny face at myself every time I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

When it came to the big dresser mirror? I'd just duck my head and avoid eye contact.

Now I can look at myself and not feel shame because my body is changing. It's more an analytical inspection than admiration- trust me- but I can actually see my body thinning here and smoothing there, and even see skin that I'm sure I haven't seen in decades. Granted, I'm not going out in a bikini any time soon, but I can smile a little when I see myself in the mirror now.

Mirror inspections help me to stay on track. I no longer have to remind myself that this is a permanent way of living, not some temporary diet plan. My family sometimes forgets that I don't eat in the mornings, so when they want to go out to eat or have family breakfast on the weekends I usually suggest later in the morning or early afternoon brunch instead. It will take time, but I need them to understand this is not something I'll ever stop doing. 

Yes, I can adjust the hours (and I have on occasion), but for now, eating in the morning is backfiring big time. So until I have more confidence concerning a short mid-day eating window, I'll sit there and enjoy their company if they can't adjust to my schedule. I don't expect them to do so all the time, but it is nice when we can all eat together. Sometimes they have something small in the morning, just so we can eat a bigger meal at noon. I have a fantastic family!

My resolutions this year have nothing to do with a gym membership, new diet plan, weightlifting, or yoga (okay, maybe yoga)- I want to remain consistent and steadfast in every aspect of my life. To stick with IFing, writing, and being the best wife, mom, and person I can be.

I want to walk on a beach with my husband. 

I want to go shopping with my daughter without having to depend on a cart or chair to sit in. 

I want to walk in the park with my family, chatting with them and anyone we meet, without looking for a bench.

I want to look in that mirror and see the difference in my body- and in my smile when seeing positive changes in the reflection.

I want to look better, but more importantly, I want to feel better. And I want to thank 2020 for helping me make those changes. But don't be too mad 2020- I won't miss you too much!

Week Thirteen: Close That Window!

 Sorry about the late post!

This weekend was a hot mess- too much to do and not enough time to do it all. Instead of a nice-sized six-hour eating window, I caved and allowed my hunger to get the best of me on Saturday, and I started eating way too early- 10:30 am. 

Image by Republica from Pixabay 

If I'd behaved and stopped eating at 4:30 pm, all would have been well with the world. But chaos reared its ugly head, and everything ran late, including dinner. We decided to order out, thinking foolishly that it would be faster. 

Wrongo!

The food didn't arrive until after 8:00 pm, and we finished eating close to 9:00 pm. That is a whopping ten-and-a-half hour eating window! I felt sluggish all day and went to bed at about 10:30 pm, feeling tired and bloated. I didn't stuff myself but it sure wasn't comfortable!

Sunday was better, but I felt like a hibernating bear- I just couldn't wake up. I slept late, then wound up falling into a small nap in the late morning, then a deep one-hour nap in the early afternoon. I wasn't sick- just exhausted. Maybe part of it was I was moving a lot more this week, but I really think that wide eating window was the major culprit. I had a five to six-hour window on Sunday and went to bed feeling much better.

This week I'll be doing a lot more physically, not just because of the holidays, but for the simple reason that I need to move more. Standing for long periods takes a bit out of me, but at least the dishes are getting done! 

Winter joint aches stink- they really impede movement too much, especially when out in the colder weather. I've been taking small doses of food-grade DE (Diatomaceous Earth) to help with the joint pain. The best part of that is I can take it during my fasting hours because it doesn't affect my body like food does. Tastes like mud and has the texture of fine sand but it works. It brushes out the old intestinal tract and helps the body absorb calcium. Really awesome stuff!

As for the menu this week I'm not making any additional goals because of Christmas. I plan to eat good home cooking and enjoy all kinds of holiday goodies, but I plan on keeping that window as close to shut as I can. I never want a ten-hour window ever again. Ugh!

I've lost a total of 25 pounds. It sure doesn't seem like a lot when you're as big as I am, but if you think in percentages, that's 7% of my total body weight. That's a lot for three months! I'm finding that some of my tighter shirts are less snug, and the shirts that used to fit well are starting to get a little baggy. Sweatpants are sliding down my hips so much that I need to keep hoisting them up when I stand- it makes me smile every time!

I feel really good about the future- including the next weigh-in in a few weeks. Small losses are still losses, and I have to keep reminding myself that it's a good thing not to be losing twenty pounds an hour. It took me decades to get this big, so if it takes less than four years to lose it all, it's completely worth it.

I hope God blesses you in many unexpected ways this week, and have a very Merry Christmas!

Week Twelve: One Quarter Weigh-In

A quarter can mean many things; Twenty-five cents, fifteen minutes, three months...but whatever the meaning, it's one-fourth of something. Four is always involved.

It is one-fourth of the year, and four pounds are what I lost! I'd love to say I'd lost a quarter of my weight, but I'm not even close. But that's okay- this is a marathon, not a sprint. I'm now a more slender 338 pounds. I feel so skinny!

I would've liked to have lost more, but I'll take it- especially since my husband found Lindor chocolates on sale. Yes, I am a weak-willed woman when it comes to good chocolate!

Again, no pictures until I lose at least two more pounds (10-pound loss minimum, at least for now) because there really isn't much to see...er...or maybe there's too much to see. Either way, you ain't gonna see nothing until the next weigh-in!

I also took measurements. There wasn't much of a difference, but the differences were mixed, so here goes:

Original numbers:          4 weeks ago:              Now:                Difference:

Weight 363 lbs.                  342                        338                  4 pounds

Biceps- 23"                      21-1/4"                   21-1/2"               +1/4"

Chest- 61-1/2"                 61-1/4"                     59                    2-1/4"

Waist- 58"                          57"                      56-1/2"                1/2"

Hips- 69-1/2"                   63-1/2"                  63-3/4"               +1/4"

Thigh- 32"                        31-1/2"                     31                     1/2"

Neck- 18"                         17-3/4"                   same                  none

Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. 

But it gets better folks. And the holidays actually helped me this time, despite the chocolate surge. I went shopping.

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay 

Let me rephrase that. 

I. Went. Shopping. 

As in standing and walking. As in walking from the parking lot into the store, walking up and down aisles, and standing in lines. This might seem minor to most of you, but this was major for me. Hugely major.

Why?

Because my fitness level before IF almost had me in a wheelchair. I couldn't walk for more than fifty feet without needing to sit. My back would spasm, my knees would kill me, and my calves would burn like fire. My feet were swollen like footballs, and though I had no real health issues per se, I felt trapped in my own body because it hurt to move. Shopping became a pipe dream I'd never thought I'd do again.

But guess what? I did. In fact, I shopped in a store twice this past week!

Walking is no longer the pain-etched trial it used to be. While I still can't stand for a great length of time, lines are no longer as daunting as they were before. My back has almost stopped spasming altogether unless I really start to overdo it. 

I had a hysterectomy a few years back, and though it was supposed to be a six-week recovery, I kept overdoing it and it became a whopping twelve weeks of having to lie flat, which severely weakened my core muscles. So any upright activity would end up with my back in agony. I started doing core exercises which helped, but I had to stand up and move more, which was nearly impossible.

Not anymore!

It was such a feeling of freedom to be going Christmas shopping without having to worry about being a human pretzel at the end of the day. I did one trip before work, and one trip after work on a different day- and though I was hurting a bit, once I rested I was back on my feet doing what I needed at home. It's a tremendous feeling!

I even had the energy to tackle my half-organized sewing/writing space in preparation for a Christmas wrapping station. Stuff needed to be moved to make way for the uncloseting of the gift wrap, tape, bows, and scissors, and though my crafting things were put aside and not away, all that bending, lifting, and stretching actually felt good. I'm confident that I can get the room in order after the holidays.

As for the food plans for the next month- I need to add salads and cut down a bit more on my intake. Snacky stuff has taken over the house, and though I don't have to eat it, I want to. Sometimes it's a good thing to have five people living in one house...they might eat all the good stuff before I get a second taste, but that also means the junk will go fast too.

Since there are so many in the house, I also get the 'eat it before it gets eaten by someone else' mentality- I really wanted some leftover soup from the other night, only to find out everyone else finished it off. 

Ugh!

I have to remind myself I don't need a full serving of everything just because someone else might eat it. Breathe, Beth, Breathe! We can always make more! Cherish what I get, taste everything with gratefulness, and stop stuffing myself because it might not be there tomorrow.

I want to thank you for following me in my IF journey. You give me the inspiration to keep posting my progress, whether the outcome is good or bad- your support is awesome!

See you next week, and have a great holiday!

Week Eleven: Gobble, Hobble, Wobble

The beginning of the week went well- work was slow, but I got a lot more done in the house. I stood up a lot more, but the cold made my arthritic knees ache, so walking outdoors (other than work) was not going to happen.

This weekend I had two seven-to-eight-hour windows, and since it's cookie baking season for us, that's what I intended to do- at least on Saturday. Funny thing- when I bake I don't eat, and I'd planned on making cookies and other goodies the entire weekend not only to clear space in the freezer but to test how much certain recipes actually made for a food order for Christmas. 

I know that doesn't sound like IFing news, but wait- this is just the preliminary game plan. 

Saturday was supposed to be cookies all day (about twenty-four dozen), and Sunday was a day of bad-for-you baked snacks to graze on for the entire afternoon. Meals weren't entirely planned, though cookie day was also going to be homemade pizza dough day, because Sunday was going to involve homemade pigs in a blanket, homemade pizza, fried ravioli, and pepperoni dip. Not one vegetable in the lot, unless you count the tomato sauce!

Unfortunately, Saturday was a bust- errands took longer than usual, my daughter was working longer than expected, and other distractions got in the way. Saturday was written off and most of my time was spent waiting for my helpers to come home. Yes, I could have done all of it myself, but this was supposed to be family time. Ah, well. I spent the time watching cookie class videos and letting my imagination do the running instead of my aching knees.

Sunday was another story- cookie dough was made, and my daughter and I worked as bakers for most of the afternoon, at least until I realized I needed to make those blanket piggies. So while she was finishing up the cookie baking, I was making sheet after sheet of pigs in blankets, eating a few 'test bite pigs' after each batch came fresh out of the oven. 

There were a lot more of those mini hot dogs in the package than I thought. They used up most of my pizza dough, so no pizza for that nights' dinner. We did however have a fresh batch of pepperoni dip, so I made breadsticks out of the leftover dough. After filling myself with blanket piggies, there wasn't much room for the dip and sticks but it was so good, I ate it anyway.

I never did get to the ravioli. Everyone else was full of the snacky stuff too, so I put the ravioli back in the freezer for another time. I went to bed feeling like that blueberry girl Violet in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory- wondering if my stomach will ever feel empty again as I fell asleep.

Image by jggrz from Pixabay 

I felt so sluggish and bloated this morning!

Never again. At least until I forget I ever had this feeling, get cocky, and overgraze on bready stuff. Ugh.

This week the watchword is moderation. A friend of ours took the rest of the dip home with them (so it's now out of temptations' reach), my son will probably polish off the rest of the pigs in blankets today, and I will be behaving myself by eating as little bread as possible. My weigh-in is next week; I'm not going into starvation mode to 'counteract' having overdone it, but I also know that the weight loss might not be as significant as I want- if at all. 

I don't think I'll be opening my eating window as wide on the weekends as I have been- especially after the holidays are over. Eight hours is just too much time for me to overdo it, but a seven or six-hour window should allow me enough time to have a late breakfast and a light early dinner with my family.

I haven't eaten in fourteen hours, yet I still feel like an overstuffed elephant. I'm so glad I'm going back to work and not eating until after three o'clock! Apparently, I'm no good on my own. 

Oddly enough, we baked all those cookies and I didn't eat a single one, except for the initial taste test, which was one bite of my daughters' freshly baked chocolate chip cookie she insisted I try. I wish I could say the same for the savory baked goods!