Year One, Week Fourteen: Full Belly- Fantasy vs. Reality

Ah, the holidays...

Christmas is often spent in indulgences, and this year wasn't much different. But instead of gifts, we made food.

We usually bake a ton of goodies, but that wasn't happening this year due to the move. Our standard cookie baking binge is about 150 dozen; However, cookies for this year were a big fat zero.

And speaking of big and fat...

This was me during Christmas Day. I'd told the family I was opening my window completely, eating when they do, be it breakfast, lunch, or dinner. And snacks- let's not forget the snacks.

Despite our severe lack of cookies, I did pretty well in stuffing my face. Some of it was junky, but I ate good, belly-filling food for the most part. And like this cat, I ate myself into a food coma.

Last week I'd had a breakthrough- I'd finally broken my plateau and was on my way to my next goal of 300 pounds. I'm sure some of you are not happy with my complete lack of discipline, but I also bet some of you did exactly as I did. Maybe some of you are feeling guilty for doing so.

As for me, my guilt meter isn't even registering. Why? Because I planned to free-range eat for that day- and only that day.

I ate less the day before and the day after. And I learned something important. I never want to do that kind of eating ever again- even on my free-range holiday days.

I was so uncomfortable and bloated! I think I'd have done better eating smaller portions of everything I'd wanted instead of regular servings like everyone else. I might've even had room for a cookie or two had I baked them.

Yesterday I ate for a two-hour window and still felt a bit bloated. So today is going to be a light day.

And before you ask, I didn't even consider getting on the scale. All that will do is sabotage my mindset. I'd planned to eat that day, and though I had no idea it would affect me two days later, I also know my body is trying to figure out what the heck I did this weekend! So I have no intention of stepping on the scale for at least a few more days.

The fantasy was definitely better than the reality. IFing shrank my stomach more than I thought it did, and not just in the weight department. But now I'm back on track with my windows and my portions, and the only 'holiday' I have left is my birthday in January!

Year One, Week Thirteen: Who Said Thirteen Was Unlucky?

My mind is completely blown.

So much has happened this year, but not much concerning my weight loss. Week after week, I struggled with windows, exercise, and the food on my plate, trying everything under the sun and reading the FFR book to gain new insights on how to break this plateau.

Last month, I thought I'd finally broken the barrier and was on my way- at least until I saw the scale this month. Then, I was back behind the wall that weighed 326 pounds. So frustrating!

There was one thing I didn't do that I should've done. Talked to others who are taking the IF journey. I joined a Facebook group when I started, and they have been kind enough to allow me to share my posts. But when things got frustrating (and, to be honest, there was no progress at all), I decided to shut everyone out and tough this out on my own.

Part of it was shame; I started out so well! Part of it was because life became chaotic, and then after the move, we didn't have the internet for over six weeks. The isolation was voluntary during the former and involuntary during the latter.

After that, I simply didn't think to ask anyone for help.

But then I posted my blog last week, and someone decided to be bold and contact me.

Carin, the IF Facebook page owner, messaged me, letting me know that she understood my frustration and asked if she could do anything to help. I didn't want to tell her at first (she's maintaining, and I'm still way too big for my britches), but eventually, I opened up, and after a few critical questions from her, she realized why I'd been struggling for so long.

The funniest part is, she wasn't subtle about it- just like I am with my friends. I like that in people.

"Why are you hanging on to 4-6 hour eating windows?"

She wasn't being mean; she was incredulous. After all this time, she said I should have been down to two hours or less a day, which was probably why things weren't progressing.

I was dumbfounded. Because I'm still so big, I only did two hours or less during my OMADs. I was afraid of tanking my metabolism because I also have hypothyroidism.

"I suggest you do two-hour or fewer windows for the next 1-3 months. You definitely need to lessen the daily insulin to kick start your body into depletion mode."

Oh.

The next day, I did as she suggested. And the next, for the entire week. I thought it would be more challenging, but it was more manageable. I was also eating less because by the time the two-hour window closed, I wasn't hungry enough to eat anything significant, if at all. But I made sure that I didn't have two OMADs in a row. Starving myself wasn't the goal.

This morning, I stepped on the scale and was shocked to see a smaller number. A much smaller number.

I'd shattered my plateau. I squealed for joy like a kid at Christmas!

I won't share the actual number yet- I'm saving that for my monthly weigh-in. However, if things keep going this well, I'll be posting pics next month!

Thank you, Carin Joy, for your FB page and fantastic advice. You are a true friend!

Year One, Week Twelve: Uphill Climb

It's weigh-in week!

Maybe it's the holidays. Maybe it's getting distracted while snacking when on the internet. Maybe it's the lack of exercise since I've been writing and working on my laptop since we finally got internet two weeks ago.

Maybe it's all three. 

And the fact that I found myself ravenous this week didn't help. We didn't even start our Christmas baking yet!

We're not going to do our typical binge-baking sessions like the previous years (50 dozen each of three different cookies, for a total of 150 dozen), but we still intend to make more than the average elf.

This week was more challenging than usual, and I can't even tell you why. I was just hungry, and everything tasted so good! I didn't even have seconds, though I did snack more than I should have- and it shows, dagnabbit.

Here are the numbers:

                   4 weeks ago:                       Now:                          Difference:       

Weight           324                               326                             +2 lbs.

Bicep           19-1/2"                          19-1/2"                          same

Chest           57-1/2"                          58-1/2"                           +1"

Waist           54-1/2"                          55-1/2"                           +1"

Thigh           30-1/2"                          29-1/2"                           -1/2"

Neck            17-1/2"                          17-1/2"                          same

Hips             62-1/2"                              63"                            +1/2"

All that progress down the tubes. Ugh.

I'm beyond frustrated. Being busy on my laptop keeps me from starting my windows too early, but being on my butt for most of the day is detrimental to losing weight.

I need to be more mobile, and there's just no way of getting around it- excuse the pun.

This morning I was frustrated enough to take a quick walk around our property. We have a gravel road around the border, and the property is a third of an acre- almost square. That's a little less than one-tenth of one mile. If I can get into the habit of walking it two or three times a day, that might get the blood pumping.

At least it's a start.

One of the biggest hindrances was not having food prepped to make my OMAD salad ahead of time. I kept forgetting to boil the eggs and sear and cool the chicken so I could slice it thin for tossing in my salad.

I'm prepping my ingredients for tomorrow as soon as this blog is published!

This month's goal is to walk more, have an OMAD twice a week, and cut snacking down by half.

And to drown the hungries with big glasses of water!

Year One, Week Eleven: Fighting the Good Fight

Why are bad habits so hard to break?

I managed to do an OMAD in the middle of the week, and I intended to do the same on Sunday since it was easier to skip breakfast and eat when we returned home after services. 

But everything tasted and smelled so good; I not only had two meals that day, I had three.

Usually, I'd say 'oops' about now, but that implies that the two extra meals accidentally fell into my mouth. Sigh. If only...

So today was the day. I was not only going to do an OMAD, but I was also going to low carb it. 

I had plans. Strategies. Ways of keeping myself occupied so I wouldn't eat too early.

My husband, however, had bacon, ham, and cheesy eggs. 

Now, I could blame him for making it ahead of time, and me, not wanting to waste good fresh food, would be obligated to eat it to save the earth. But no, he asked me before he made it, and I asked if he was making breakfast for everyone. He was. Being the social creature I am, I told him to go for it.

It was delicious.

Okay, so I ate early. No big deal, right? I was still low carbing it, so as long as I kept myself busy, I could try to forget eating for the rest of the day. There are still tons of boxes to unpack and things to be decorated and wrapped...right?

And then my husband mentioned we were having people over for lunch, and he had to make fresh rolls because we were going to have sandwiches with freshly sliced turkey and ham.

For those who don't know, we plan to open a bakery cafe here, hopefully by next year. Our bread is fantastic. At first, I resisted, but I caved and made myself a sandwich when I saw everyone else eating that yummy-smelling fresh bread.

Fresh bread from the oven and newly sliced lunchmeat (we slice our own)...can you blame me for indulging?

Okay, okay, so I'll be good after that. After all, it was one roll, and I put a good amount of meat on it. So I shouldn't need anything else until tomorrow.

After our guests left, my husband announced that he was making pork chops with fresh broccoli and carrots for dinner.

Guess what happened? It was low carb, so it counts as a good thing...right?

My stomach loves me right now. My brain, however, is contemplating leaving me for my foibles. Double sigh.

Tomorrow will be better. I just bought a fresh head of lettuce to make my chicken cobb salad for my OMAD. I just have to boil an egg, and instead of chicken, I can alleviate my brains' worry over waste by dicing up that one porkchop leftover from dinner tonight. Maybe then my brain won't leave me.

Maybe.

I'm still fighting fat- There are a lot of battles ahead before I win this war. And I will win this war!

Year One, Week Ten: The Hard Road

(postdated Monday, 11/29/21)

At the beginning of my IF journey, it was difficult to hold off from eating. Eventually, I trained myself to wait and savor the moment when my eating window opened. 

But the road got more manageable with every step forward. Getting started was (I thought) the most challenging step I'd ever take. But, once the ball was rolling, it was an easier road to travel.

And then, complacency set in. The path became level, and I was headed straight for the Wonderful World of Plateaus.

I stayed there far longer than I should have.

For months I stayed at the same weight, almost content that I wasn't gaining weight- but I wasn't losing weight either. Weight-loss limbo was where I resided, and when I wanted to get out, it was like Jabba the Hutt trying to get out of an overstuffed recliner.

If I wanted out of limbo, I had to fight for it.

It's almost like I had to restart my journey because I'd forgotten one key factor to keep moving down the slope to losing weight.

Sacrifice.

I was overeating, and I knew it. Nevertheless, I thought I could fool myself (and others) into thinking I was still doing well. I refused to believe I'd stopped progressing, even though the scale and the measurements told a different story.

Taking a good, hard look at your eating habits isn't easy. Changing them for the better is even harder, but I needed to make some profound changes if I ever wanted to be a thinner, healthier me.

Oddly enough, it was my son coming for the Thanksgiving holiday that helped me see what I was doing to myself.

My son told us he was losing weight, and it showed. When he first arrived, he was eating a lot less than before he moved away. But as the week progressed, he fell into his old habits, and food started disappearing. Fast. Like me, he was surrounded by good food and had gotten comfortable in his environment. And his diligence relaxed.

Mine was nearly comatose. 

So, for the first time in months, I'd made a few changes. I now eat breakfast with the family and have lunch as my last meal instead of starting my window in the afternoons. I don't feel deprived of their company because we all have breakfast together, lunches together most of the time, and dinner has been on the fly. I can skip dinner most days, but when we cook a family meal twice a week, I open my window wide for that day.

I also plan to have one of my giant chicken cobb salads as an OMAD sometime during the week. Unfortunately, I stopped doing OMADs, which was one of my biggest mistakes. I'll have to make a few substitutions (like leftover turkey instead of chicken), but the premise remains.

Sometimes it helps to get mad at yourself!

Complacency is a weight-loss killer. So I need to stop coasting and start that downhill trek again. 

Next stop- Three-hundred pounds!

Year One, Week Nine: The Weighting Game

 (postdated Tuesday, November 23rd, 2021)

I swear, if I have one more service company no-show, I'm going to chew the woodwork.

Remember last week I was waiting for the propane guys? Well, they didn't show. Again. We called the service, and they said for sure on Monday.

The Monday before Thanksgiving.

We'd been eating out of the freezer for three weeks, and I'm not going to lie, I checked myself on the scale each day because I desperately wanted to stay under my breakthrough weight. The numbers were higher, but not by much, and I think this was the only thing keeping me from stress-eating too much.

I did stress eat.

The good news is we finally got our propane on Wednesday- The day before Thanksgiving. Better late than never, but we didn't get to make everything we wanted for the holiday.

We can finally bake after almost seven weeks!

The freshly baked rolls are going to be fantastic. Don't look at me like that- I know I'm supposed to ease off of the bread- it's going to be Thanksgiving, and I'm intending on being thankful!

As for the stress of no internet, we're supposed to be getting it on the 29th. I'm praying so hard that they'll come, but there isn't much influence to get the job done expediently up here in the boonies. We shall see.

We're picking up our son later today to stay for a week. We also have our first visitors coming on Sunday! My husbands' cousin and his wife are stopping by for lunch after dropping off their son at college, and we're on the way back from Philadelphia. Now that we have a working range, we're planning on making homemade cream soup- something we haven't had since before the move on October 9th!

I'm trying to focus on the good stuff. So far, so good, though my son isn't happy that we don't have internet service yet. He's usually plastered to his phone screen. We're wondering if his head will implode from lack of stimulus. 

I'm hopeful things will work out by the end of next week.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Year One, Week Eight: Breakthrough!

(postdated Tuesday, Nov.16^th, 2021)

I've been plateauing for months. Eating windows went haywire. There was a lot of stress- both good and bad- and many adjustments- both good and bad.

I finally had a weight loss breakthrough!

I'd love to say I have it all figured out, but this breakthrough was due to something unexpected.

Remember I told you about that cool, clear, fantastic tasting water? Apparently, I'm one of those people who needs to get used to new water sources. The water itself is fine (my daughter and husband aren't affected), but I had a full two days where my body decided to clean house.

Have you ever been to the bathroom so much you felt hollow? I felt like that for three days! I was so wobbly-kneed, I wound up resting on the recliner for two of those days. Ugh.

Oddly enough, those two days were meals of Chinese take-out because that was all that seemed tempting to me. Unfortunately, there was no home cooking because our range had to be removed for the new model. The old oven didn't close, so we couldn't bake, and the burners were tilted to the center because the previous owner used a giant canning pot the size of a small state, which bent all four burners inward.

The new model is lovely but isn't electric- it's all propane- and the propane company forgot to add that to our order when we ordered propane for the fireplace. So, no range for at least a week. We're hoping to get propane in today, and I'm holding off eating breakfast until it's installed.

And that's why we had Chinese food in the fridge. Thank God!

I learned a lot about my body this week. I think the reason I haven't been losing so fast is I'm still overeating at my meals. This week I ate much smaller portions, and for a few days, I didn't eat anything snacky. I also ate slower and found myself having more energy the following days. I didn't eat much bread. I hate to say it (especially since we will open a bakery in the next year), but I might have to put bread on the Rarely Eat list.

Let's look at the numbers:

                   4 weeks ago:                       Now:                          Difference:       

Weight           326                                324                             -2 lbs.

Bicep              20"                             19-1/2"                           -1/2"

Chest             58-1/4"                        57-1/2"                           -3/4"

Waist              55-1/2"                        54-1/2"                            -1"

Thigh              30"                             30-1/2"                           +1/2"

Neck               17-1/2"                       17-1/2"                          same

Hips                62-1/2"                       62-1/2"                          same

Apparently, I'm still going pear-shaped, but at least I'm headed in the right direction!

It might only be two pounds, but this marks a significant hurdle- I've finally broken through another weight loss goal! The goal was set at 325 lbs.- the next goal is 300lbs.

Onto the next breakthrough!