Week Thirty-One: Hungry, Hungry, Uh-Ohs

 Just when you think you're doing well...

Image by 代 笠 from Pixabay 

WHAM- the hungries get you.

I have no idea where they came from. I was doing what I do, and all of a sudden, I'm hit with the hunger pangs of a rabid beast; I could eat a tree as long as I had something to chew on.

It's a desperate, gnawing, needful hunger that takes over your entire being, and if you don't get something to eat fast, there are going to be casualties.

There was only one time I was ever this hungry- I was pregnant with my son, twenty-three years ago.

And unless God did a reverse hysterectomy, I know it's not that particular issue again. But it was the same exact craving- it had to be meat, and lots of it.

I'm telling you, folks, it took everything I had not to go on an all-out binge. There was no need to binge- I was eating what I wanted! But I wanted it all, and then some. 

I still have no idea where this hunger came from, other than we ran out of chicken, and I've been eating a lot more pork and beef for the past two weeks. But the freezer is full, and all I could get was a rotisserie chicken for my chickeny needs. 

This was a hard week. The food addict I was came back with a vengeance; I'm not downplaying any other addictions- you can do without alcohol, drugs, and other temptations, but you can't live without food. You have to control it, or it controls you.

Frankly, I've had enough of giving my addiction the wheel. This is my bus, and I want to be a sub-compact, thank you very much!

Even as I write this, I can still feel a tenuous remnant of those hunger pangs from last week. The only reason they faded was that I eat more on the weekends. In fact, Sunday, I had a big breakfast and a small lunch, yet when we went out to dinner last night and were served enormous portions, I came home with 7/8 of it, which surprised me and everyone else.

It could be because I broke a plateau, and my body was quite happy as a hippo and didn't want to go down to the next level of weight loss. At least I broke it the week before last- I hope I didn't jeopardize my progress this past week by caving to the hunger once too often. 

The good news is I have plenty of chicken now, because I still have most of the rotisserie, and six of the 7/8 doggie bag is chicken parmesan. I have enough leftovers to last me more than half the week!

More good news is that my greens are growing well.

I have a lot of romaine lettuce to cut down for one huge salad and leftovers for sandwiches, and I might have enough kale to make at least two or three bowls of homemade Zuppa tuscana- that sausage, potato, and kale soup they serve at a certain Italian restaurant franchise. Three bowls would be enough for my down days during the week. I might have just enough spinach grown to add to both salad and soup. 

It always surprises me just how fast four weeks go by. Next week is weigh-in time, and I hope to have pictures, along with some more losses in either weight or body mass. The results are going to be a surprise for all of us!

Week Thirty: Pace the Race

For the record, I don't run. The pace I'm setting is a dietary one. 

Image by metaliza01 from Pixabay 

I haven't lost weight in two months. I know I'm burning more than I'm consuming. Inches have been lost, but my weight remains the same or even went up by just a couple of pounds.

However, I lost more than a few inches. Oddly enough, I'm thinner at three hundred and thirty-two pounds than I was when I weighed three hundred! How crazy is that?

I know the weight will come down. I've hit a plateau, and I just need to be patient. My biggest problem is trying to fix things too soon before allowing the previous changes to take effect. I did this initially after my first twenty-eight-day clean fast, and I think I threw my metabolism into a tailspin.

The first month was a seventeen-pound loss. The second month was a four-pound loss. Had I not tried to go to an OMAD (One Meal A Day) format, maybe the weight loss wouldn't have tanked that second month. Who knows? 

I was eating five to six meals a day before I started. Within six weeks, I was eating half that. That's a big shock to the body!

I started this dietary race running full tilt. I realize now that I have to pace myself; otherwise, I'll crash and burn...out. I need to remind myself this isn't a fad diet; this is a lifestyle change that I'll be doing the rest of my life. 

Weight loss is a side effect. Yes, it's the main reason I started doing Intermittent Fasting, but not the only reason. I wanted that extra energy. I wanted my body to slim down without needing plastic surgery. The organic envelope that is my skin will slim down as I do. There will be sagging and extra stuff as I lose, but not nearly as much as there would be if I dropped weight like a contestant on The Biggest Loser.

I'm not lecturing you. I'm lecturing me.

I won't lie. I'd almost given up after month two of no weight loss. The only things that kept me going were the inches lost and the energy and vitality I feel when I fast. 

Then I had to go to my husbands' workplace last week. You know, the place that has the freight scale where I weigh myself. I honestly felt that I was cheating to step on the scale this early in the month, so I almost didn't do it. But my inner self said to get on, so I did.

No, I won't tell you the numbers, but there was a loss. A good loss. Just one and a half weeks after my last weigh-in. I'm so glad I did it because it refreshed my hope.

The rest of the week was somewhat counterproductive. I was hungry a lot, and I ate more than I usually allow. Maybe it was relief eating (instead of stress eating), and maybe I was subconsciously sabotaging myself- I really have no idea. But I was exceptionally hungry for protein, and I ate a lot of it this weekend.

I also found out at a friends' cookout that chicken marinated in Italian dressing overnight and grilled until just tender tastes fantastic- and I can't eat enough of it. Politeness was the only reason I didn't eat all that was left. I don't know what it is about cooking outdoors on a grill, but the burgers and chicken were awesome. 

Maybe it's just us being outdoors for the first time in forever; I know I eat a lot more when we go camping too, so maybe there's something in the fresh air that makes people hungrier. All I know is that it tasted great, and I ate a lot of it.

Today is my down day. I'm not sure if I'll continue doing them as drastically as I was a month ago. It seems I lose faster when I eat more, especially lean proteins, so no more days of just salads. I still like having a brothy soup, though, but having it with some extra protein or a side salad instead is much more satisfying for me. 

Making this slight adjustment has also increased my energy. 

This week I plan to stick with a little higher intake on my down days (not the 500 calorie drastic drop), parking even further back in the parking lots for work, and keeping off the couch by doing extra chores in the house. 

Lucky for me, we're getting a new-to-us refrigerator in tomorrow, so I'll be moving a lot of furniture and doing a lot of bending as we clear out the old fridge and restock the new one. Leftovers have already been sorted into 'grab and go' one serving meals to be frozen, and we're still making homemade bread and pasta.

Now all I need to do is find the charcoal and see how much chicken and Italian dressing we have. This is going to be a delicious week!

Week Twenty-Nine: Doing Dumb Things

What a week!

I was driving for work and did something stupid that scraped my vans' undercarriage, then tried to correct it and wound up spraining two of my fingers. That was enough to fill my Stupidometer for the week, but noooo, I had to go above and beyond, just to prove how addled I truly am.

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I went to a cookout this weekend. Why is that so bad, you ask? Because the cook who was cooking couldn't cook, and I wound up eating charcoal briquettes. Twice. All because I wanted to be polite.

After the first burger briquette, our host joked that he wasn't a cook and just slapped the meat on the grill and left it there for the guests to attend. You want a burger? Grill it yourself. I took up the challenge and asked him to put more meat on the grill. 

The food was almost done, but the coals had died down, and I asked if he had any more charcoal. Big mistake. He took the remaining charcoal and emptied it into the grill, and before I could say anything, he lit it. 

I thought these were the typical hard-to-light briquettes. Nope. He had quick starters. The flames were magnificent. But my burgers were now ash. I ate them anyway because I was the one that asked for them. 

Note to self; Never eat charred meat. 

I didn't sleep well that night. I woke up tired, and when my husband was making an early breakfast, I broke my IF protocol and asked if he'd make some extra for me. I ate good, solid food, and he said I was looking much better. Honestly, I had no idea I looked bad, but I guess I did! I ate more than I intended yesterday, eating three meals total. I didn't overeat, but it was still more than I usually allow myself.

Today I feel much better, and I slept a bit better last night. Today is a down day, and I have my meal already planned, so I shouldn't go off the rails today. I think the next time I'm confronted with hard-to-eat food, I'll politely decline and risk the consequences. It affected me more than I thought it would!

I still need to remind myself to eat good food on the weekends, now that I'm doing three down days a week. 

The good news is the chip consumption has gone down to almost half, and I don't crave them as much as I used to. I had a snack of fresh strawberries and homemade whipped cream the other day that was so delicious, and we just bought more fresh fruit and veggies to incorporate into our menu this week. 

Fresh pasta made a fantastic lasagna, and we made more homemade bread for the family- and I haven't even wanted a bite of the bread! I've been growing kale, lettuce, and spinach in my sewing room, and it's almost ready to make my first home-grown salad and soup- I'm so excited!

Week Twenty-Eight: Mystery and Betrayal Weigh-in

This was an interesting month.

I'd made many positive changes yet still struggled with the types and amounts of food I've been eating. Soups really helped my down days (good), but I also had a small sandwich with the soup (bad). I decided that home-baked bread was the way to go- not only because it tastes so much better but because it was better for me. 

This week I retried a low-carb snack I hadn't had in eons- baked cheese. It was a blend of mozzarella, cheddar, and provolone, and I topped each one off with some leftover pepperoni. I cleaned out the fridge and found all of these in dribs and drabs, so I'd thought I'd get rid of them in one fell swoop.

They were yummy! I did this twice this past week. And then...

Between the bread and the cheese- and don't forget the cheese I'd had in the sandwiches too- I was feeling more than a bit...clogged.

Candy is starting to taste weird, and fruit is starting to taste fantastic! I've been replacing some of my snacks with fruit. I've also been prepping a lot of homemade foods like tomato base. Twenty-five pounds of tomatoes, eight green peppers, and four huge onions make about nine quarts of sauce, and it takes all day to cook down. This time I made a chunky version, which I plan to use in dishes in the upcoming weeks.

This weekend, we wanted to make dishes using homemade pasta. We used the pasta sheeter this time and a new pasta recipe. It was fantastic! We had spaghetti and meatballs with sausage and my homemade sauce, and we had chicken and spaghetti in a creamy garlic parmesan sauce the next day. We didn't do anything special for Easter this year due to the pandemic.

Image by joshuemd from Pixabay 

Everything was delicious. However, last night, I was feeling very bloated with indigestion. Not good when you have to weigh yourself the next day.

Unfortunately, the only significant exercise I'd gotten this week is walking farther in the parking lots for work. Most of what I did this week involved sitting.

The numbers were good! I'd lost several inches here and there, stayed the same on others, and only gained in my chest. But I was still feeling clogged and bloated and was hoping my body would clear out everything before the weigh-in.

Nope.

I was going to take pictures this week, but you'll understand in a moment why I didn't. At least not this month.

Here are the numbers:

Original numbers:        4 weeks ago:            Now:              Difference:

Weight 363 lbs.                330                     332                     +2

Biceps- 23"                   19-3/4"                 19-3/4"                none

Chest- 61-1/2"              58-3/4"                 59-1/2"                +3/4"

Waist- 58"                     57-1/4"                 54-1/2"              -2-3/4"

Hips- 69-1/2"                   62"                     62"                     same

Thigh- 32"                    31-1/4"                   29"                   -2-1/4"

Neck- 18"                     17-1/2"                17-1/2"                 same

This is my first gain since I started this journey. There were a lot of conflicting thoughts running around my head when the indicator settled slowly onto the scale- a lot of 'diet' thoughts:

'Maybe I should take off my shoes.' (Nope- I've been wearing them for each weigh-in.)

'I'm clogged and bloated.' (Perfectly legitimate reasons, but why?)

'I need to hold my breath/breathe helium/stand on one foot, etc.' (None of these work- don't ask me how I know that.)

'Bread and cheese, you betrayed me!' (Completely, absolutely true- but I knew this before I stepped on the scale.)

Sigh. Okay, so maybe not the cheese so much as the bread. And snacking on things I know better to snack on- especially candy and junk when I wasn't even craving that stuff. It was there, it needed to be eaten, so I ate it.

The two-pound gain and the no changes from last month are all on me, not anyone or anything else.

Just me.

Am I going to beat myself up over this? Maybe a little. But I'll use that to improve and keep myself from backsliding. The fact that I had one true setback in over six months of fasting is really a miracle. I'm still losing inches despite the bloat, and I'm more mobile each day- I just need to be more consistent and stay away from bread for a while. 

Oh, bread, you delicious betrayer! I must forsake you- at least for the most part.

I didn't make any soup for this week, but I have plenty of salad stuff and rotisserie chicken. I'll look at my recipes, find a nice brothy soup to make, and have a small salad instead of a sandwich with soup on my down days. I might make a soup with homemade pasta next week, but this week I think I better stick to veggies and maybe a little rice in the broth.

It's still a mystery to me as to why I lost so many inches yet gained weight. Some of it has to be muscle, but I fear a lot of it is just from a clogged and bloated intestinal tract. I guess I won't know until next week, because I'm not planning to touch any bread if I can help it!